WHAT'S REALLY FOOD?

despite how much i wish it were true (and, ahem, contrary to popular opinion), i have not been eating ostrich meat lately.  these days, i’ve been diligently working my way through a 16oz box of soggy lettuce and eating old tomatoes.  a pound of lettuce is really hard to finish when you live alone even if it’s all you have in the fridge.

this week, i watched this movie while eating yet another pile of lettuce from the seemingly bottomless box.  something borrowed is mostly the worst movie ever, so i obviously enjoyed it.  it’s one of those garbage romantic comedies that you will probably forget you watched as soon as you get to the credits.  but it features MY MOST FAVORITE PARADISE pretty prominently.  and that got me wondering why i’ve never screamed at the internet about how much i love shake shack.

i can’t believe we’ve never done an entry on shake shack.  i’ve broken up with people for not liking shack shack enough.  that’s totally normal and warranted.

everything there is amazing.  burgers can actually come rare.  the cheese fries remind you of roll n’ roaster without making you regret it later.  they use potato bread.  the shack sauce is, like, maybe better than mayo?  vegetarians can eat for their cardiovascular health just like carnivores BECAUSE the veggie option is a deep-fried portobello mushroom stuffed with cheese.  unbelievable!  AND YOU CAN GET THE GREASE-MUSHROOM AND BURGER IN ONE SANDWICH AND IT’S ALREADY ON THE MENU SO YOU DON’T HAVE TO FEEL EMBARRASSED ASKING FOR IT.  this is basically everything you could ever want from life.

i always stick with a prescription of a double shack burger with tomatoes and pickles on the side, cheese fries, and an arnold palmer.  i have, on fatter days, also gotten a hot dog (SO GOOD) and one of their amazing frozen custards (flavors change daily!).  i (ONLY ONCE) got a concrete and got maybe a quarter through before i had to be sick on a brooklyn-bound n train (not the first time for that part).  concretes are so good but so heavy - share one with six of your friends.

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ps - my mom packed a lunch for me this morning to survive an excruciatingly long field trip to albany.  teacher cannot survive on ruffage alone.  she asked me if i could put it in the blog but i ate everything standing up while making sure kids didn’t fall off balconies.  so no pictures.  moms make the best lunches but it’s weird for moms to ask to be on your food blog?

anyway - homemade meatballs with grandma sauce on semolina bread, omelete and tomato sandwich, mixed greens and grandma garden tomatoes with homemade vinegrette, a banana (haha, nice try), my favorite cookies, and of course - candy.  THANKS MOM!