WHAT'S REALLY FOOD?

GoogaMooga, Day 1

Uh oh uh oh. GoogaMooga, ya’ll already know. I mean you guys already definitely knew and then forgot because the Internet and technology, life moves so fast we barely get to enjoy ourselves and absorb any information. What I really mean to say is get your refunds. I don’t care, John and I had a good time. We’d have a good time in prison, just give us a chance and we’ll prove it. We ate a lot of stuff! We danced to the Roots! I got mad at some white drunk bro people who were all like “WEEEED MANN”. All in a day’s work.

John-Severin: Way to start things off with a bang. For almost a year I’ve been trying to get a reservation at Red Rooster (which is no easy task) so this was the first thing on my list. I thought Fried Chicken would be the plat du jour… but this Berber Roast Chicken was no disappointment. Middle Eastern spices coating a tasty bbq sauce slathered chicken helping. Mac n Cheese so good that it motivated me to make my own (less good) mac n cheese the next day. A piece of cornbread, pressed into the shape of a Madelaine cookie.

Yelena: Check out that mysterious berber chicken lurking in the shadows. This shit was bangin’. I used a knife and fork like a big girl.

JS: I’ve never been to the Dinosaur BBQ in NYC … the original Syracuse locale is still my favorite BBQ this side of the Mason-Dixon line .This pulled pork was a reminder that I should not be such a lazy idiot, and just take the train uptown. This pork is beyond worth it. Come early 2013, I might be able to just walk to Park Slope instead.

Y: Never had this in any capacity. Now I’ll have it in any capacity. At any time. We skipped out on the mango chutney sauce and went with original. I am, allegedly, going to the Syracuse location in a matter of weeks. This sandwich inspired me to eat everything off the menu.

JS: I was enjoying a tune by a band on the “Hammageddon” stage as I heard those glorious, words “The pig’s coming outta the pen!” The bearded man in front of me put down his giant knife only to lift up the mass of pork you see in the picture above. Steam still rising off it, the perfect and simple Porchetta sandwich you see above was birthed. Kudos to Porchetta. Probably the best (non-southern-style) pork sandwich I’ve ever had.

Y: This tiny sandwich was packed with flavor. FENNEL being the primary component. The porchetta was so fresh and soft, I could hardly stand it. Split three ways, just ain’t enough. I’ll take that big pile please.

Y: Who knows if People’s Pops is actually good? We were consuming these under extremely dire circumstance (for an enjoyable event). After an 1.5 hours of burning directly in the sun with no water, Kait and I ran to the shortest line with the coldest things. People’s Pops won. Thanks for helping us not die. I like how you guys shaved the ice with the cool thingie and plums are good.

Y: Oh Roberta’s. Stop fucking with me! First you make me wait for 2 hrs at your restaurant because you don’t take reservations. Then all my friends and I wait for over an hour in the sweltering sun just for a bite of your sweet, crusty cheeses? COME ON SON! We got a discount and I’m alive, I can’t complain. Here’s my conundrum. This pizza was delicious and drizzled in honey and chili oil. And I love me some soppressata. Just make it easier to access and add another piece of soppressata and I’m down.

JS: Really interesting flavors. First bite hit me with that same sensation you get with Szechuan food; delicious, but a little panicked at the intensity of the spice. Good ole chili oil’ll do that to ya, I suppose. It wasn’t until I had finished my piece that I realized I never had to grab for my water. The honey underneath the cheese, and the sweetness of the sopressetta took care of the whole thing. Though I didn’t expect it at the time, this is one of the items I’ve been yearning for most, in the days following.

JS: It was fine. I guess. It was a good “hot dog” (albeit Duck)… but I expect more from you at this stage in the game Collichio. Don’t make me call Grayson to yell at you again. “NOT AS EXCITING AS A MEATBALL!?”.

Y: I saw Grayson at Whole Foods 3 days ago. I guess Top Chef contestants really do shop there! The bun on this duck dawg was too thick and masked the flavor. Boom.

JS:This was at the point when I couldn’t bear the thought of another long line. I decided to go for the closest, shortest thing. Turned out to be a place in my own neighborhood, Seersucker. This ricotta and asparagus tart, while not particularly inventive or cheap ($6 for a “half”!? $11 for a “whole”?) was a good clean refreshing change of pace for a hot and sunny day.

Y: Ok ok ok ok whatever, I bought into a  food fad, I wanted to try a popular place. After some failed attempts to get reservations at M. Wells last year, I had to settle for trying the grilled cheese with foie gras and horse balogna. The question of the day is, was this really horse? I’m leaning towards yes. And boy was that horse delicious, almost as good as horseless balogna. A rich, crusty, creamy sandwich, indeed. This bad boy needs to be split, it is way too decadent.

JS: What the hell is Simply Chicken by Jean Georges? An extensive Google click led me to his stand at MSG? That really bums me out. It could be ages until I see the Knicks or Madonna or this sandwich again!? They managed to make the classic fast food style sandwich of my dreams. Chicken that went right from the charcoal barbecue to the bun, sweet pickles, spicy mayo, and a whole bunch of potato chips on top. Nice to know the dude behind ABC Kitchen ain’t above a cookout.

Y: I ran into my buddy Jordan working behind the Baked counter. He looked tired and hungry, so we grabbed him some pulled pork. He hooked us up with a bunch of free blondies, brownies and whoopie pies. This blondie with walnuts, peanut butter and chocolate chips was on some next level shit. This was the rare steak of blondies. Poor John was reminded of his walnut allergy upon a second bite and had to spit the whole thing out. Bon apetit!

JS:It was worth it. The Roots’ A.D.D.-rap-funk-gogo-jazz-metal-blues set took care of any peripheral damage.

Day 2 coming up!

# yelena John-Severin GoogaMooga Brooklyn Prospect Park Day 1 GoogaMooga Day 1 Red Rooster Dinosaur BBQ Porchetta Roberta's Roberta's Pizza Seersucker M. Wells Horse Balogna Jean-Georges pulled pork BBQ sandwiches people's pops Baked brewer's blondie pork mac n cheese

Posted 1 week ago
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Died

Yeah yeah ok this is a food blog and stuff. But our good friends Highway Gimps are releasing their debut album SHE on September 22nd. Digitally! The vinyl will follow a few weeks later. I’ll probably buy 3 copies to cuddle with. Every single person who worked on this project is insanely talented and I/we’re really really excited for them. Here’s the first single off the album, listen & weep.

Love,

Yelena

# highway gimps she alex andy russell died music brooklyn debut

Posted 8 months ago 2 notes View comments
Allegedly a hurricane was supposed to hit New York or something. I don’t know, whatever happened ended up being pretttyyyy boring. There was some water, I think the toilet overflowed a few times. Some people, I won’t say who, ate a lot of mushrooms and drank an entire bottle of vodka and some people went to sleep at 10 PM like a pathetic geriatric but I am still not pointing any fingers. However, the city did shut down the MTA thus forcing all those without a car into one location for the next two days. For all intents and purposes, this transit strike forced me into Tamara’s family’s home (my family is in London and Greece, probably eating foie gras) to abuse their fridge and cable access. Families have all the best stuff! Immobilized by a defunct transit system and cranky from rain, Tamara and I decided to make a bunch of food for ourselves and the brave friends that came through in the “hurricane.” The cheese plate was made figs from Tamara’s grandma’s fig tree. They grow figs! Amazing. Who grows actual stuff that tastes good? The salad was made with lemon cucumbers, which are so weird and prickly but also kind of tart and sweet cucumbers. Alsoo from Mina’s garden. Tamara made a rack of ribs in Bone Suckin’ Sauce and Mina’s figs. I don’t fuck with making meat, so I am impressed that she knew how to take a big slab of meat and tame it into something not just edible but also ridiculously good. Tamara’s mom made the best beans I have ever eaten in my life. Hi Maria! I love the beans, thanks for letting me sleep over. So all in all, yes, this was a bullshit ass hurricane and a huge disappointment but boredom drove us to make good food and also maybe I’ll smoke weed because I feel stir crazy. Next time there’s a hurricane you should come over I’m going to sleep bye.Allegedly a hurricane was supposed to hit New York or something. I don’t know, whatever happened ended up being pretttyyyy boring. There was some water, I think the toilet overflowed a few times. Some people, I won’t say who, ate a lot of mushrooms and drank an entire bottle of vodka and some people went to sleep at 10 PM like a pathetic geriatric but I am still not pointing any fingers. However, the city did shut down the MTA thus forcing all those without a car into one location for the next two days. For all intents and purposes, this transit strike forced me into Tamara’s family’s home (my family is in London and Greece, probably eating foie gras) to abuse their fridge and cable access. Families have all the best stuff! Immobilized by a defunct transit system and cranky from rain, Tamara and I decided to make a bunch of food for ourselves and the brave friends that came through in the “hurricane.” The cheese plate was made figs from Tamara’s grandma’s fig tree. They grow figs! Amazing. Who grows actual stuff that tastes good? The salad was made with lemon cucumbers, which are so weird and prickly but also kind of tart and sweet cucumbers. Alsoo from Mina’s garden. Tamara made a rack of ribs in Bone Suckin’ Sauce and Mina’s figs. I don’t fuck with making meat, so I am impressed that she knew how to take a big slab of meat and tame it into something not just edible but also ridiculously good. Tamara’s mom made the best beans I have ever eaten in my life. Hi Maria! I love the beans, thanks for letting me sleep over. So all in all, yes, this was a bullshit ass hurricane and a huge disappointment but boredom drove us to make good food and also maybe I’ll smoke weed because I feel stir crazy. Next time there’s a hurricane you should come over I’m going to sleep bye.Allegedly a hurricane was supposed to hit New York or something. I don’t know, whatever happened ended up being pretttyyyy boring. There was some water, I think the toilet overflowed a few times. Some people, I won’t say who, ate a lot of mushrooms and drank an entire bottle of vodka and some people went to sleep at 10 PM like a pathetic geriatric but I am still not pointing any fingers. However, the city did shut down the MTA thus forcing all those without a car into one location for the next two days. For all intents and purposes, this transit strike forced me into Tamara’s family’s home (my family is in London and Greece, probably eating foie gras) to abuse their fridge and cable access. Families have all the best stuff! Immobilized by a defunct transit system and cranky from rain, Tamara and I decided to make a bunch of food for ourselves and the brave friends that came through in the “hurricane.” The cheese plate was made figs from Tamara’s grandma’s fig tree. They grow figs! Amazing. Who grows actual stuff that tastes good? The salad was made with lemon cucumbers, which are so weird and prickly but also kind of tart and sweet cucumbers. Alsoo from Mina’s garden. Tamara made a rack of ribs in Bone Suckin’ Sauce and Mina’s figs. I don’t fuck with making meat, so I am impressed that she knew how to take a big slab of meat and tame it into something not just edible but also ridiculously good. Tamara’s mom made the best beans I have ever eaten in my life. Hi Maria! I love the beans, thanks for letting me sleep over. So all in all, yes, this was a bullshit ass hurricane and a huge disappointment but boredom drove us to make good food and also maybe I’ll smoke weed because I feel stir crazy. Next time there’s a hurricane you should come over I’m going to sleep bye.Allegedly a hurricane was supposed to hit New York or something. I don’t know, whatever happened ended up being pretttyyyy boring. There was some water, I think the toilet overflowed a few times. Some people, I won’t say who, ate a lot of mushrooms and drank an entire bottle of vodka and some people went to sleep at 10 PM like a pathetic geriatric but I am still not pointing any fingers. However, the city did shut down the MTA thus forcing all those without a car into one location for the next two days. For all intents and purposes, this transit strike forced me into Tamara’s family’s home (my family is in London and Greece, probably eating foie gras) to abuse their fridge and cable access. Families have all the best stuff! Immobilized by a defunct transit system and cranky from rain, Tamara and I decided to make a bunch of food for ourselves and the brave friends that came through in the “hurricane.” The cheese plate was made figs from Tamara’s grandma’s fig tree. They grow figs! Amazing. Who grows actual stuff that tastes good? The salad was made with lemon cucumbers, which are so weird and prickly but also kind of tart and sweet cucumbers. Alsoo from Mina’s garden. Tamara made a rack of ribs in Bone Suckin’ Sauce and Mina’s figs. I don’t fuck with making meat, so I am impressed that she knew how to take a big slab of meat and tame it into something not just edible but also ridiculously good. Tamara’s mom made the best beans I have ever eaten in my life. Hi Maria! I love the beans, thanks for letting me sleep over. So all in all, yes, this was a bullshit ass hurricane and a huge disappointment but boredom drove us to make good food and also maybe I’ll smoke weed because I feel stir crazy. Next time there’s a hurricane you should come over I’m going to sleep bye.Allegedly a hurricane was supposed to hit New York or something. I don’t know, whatever happened ended up being pretttyyyy boring. There was some water, I think the toilet overflowed a few times. Some people, I won’t say who, ate a lot of mushrooms and drank an entire bottle of vodka and some people went to sleep at 10 PM like a pathetic geriatric but I am still not pointing any fingers. However, the city did shut down the MTA thus forcing all those without a car into one location for the next two days. For all intents and purposes, this transit strike forced me into Tamara’s family’s home (my family is in London and Greece, probably eating foie gras) to abuse their fridge and cable access. Families have all the best stuff! Immobilized by a defunct transit system and cranky from rain, Tamara and I decided to make a bunch of food for ourselves and the brave friends that came through in the “hurricane.” The cheese plate was made figs from Tamara’s grandma’s fig tree. They grow figs! Amazing. Who grows actual stuff that tastes good? The salad was made with lemon cucumbers, which are so weird and prickly but also kind of tart and sweet cucumbers. Alsoo from Mina’s garden. Tamara made a rack of ribs in Bone Suckin’ Sauce and Mina’s figs. I don’t fuck with making meat, so I am impressed that she knew how to take a big slab of meat and tame it into something not just edible but also ridiculously good. Tamara’s mom made the best beans I have ever eaten in my life. Hi Maria! I love the beans, thanks for letting me sleep over. So all in all, yes, this was a bullshit ass hurricane and a huge disappointment but boredom drove us to make good food and also maybe I’ll smoke weed because I feel stir crazy. Next time there’s a hurricane you should come over I’m going to sleep bye.

Allegedly a hurricane was supposed to hit New York or something. I don’t know, whatever happened ended up being pretttyyyy boring. There was some water, I think the toilet overflowed a few times. Some people, I won’t say who, ate a lot of mushrooms and drank an entire bottle of vodka and some people went to sleep at 10 PM like a pathetic geriatric but I am still not pointing any fingers.

However, the city did shut down the MTA thus forcing all those without a car into one location for the next two days. For all intents and purposes, this transit strike forced me into Tamara’s family’s home (my family is in London and Greece, probably eating foie gras) to abuse their fridge and cable access. Families have all the best stuff!

Immobilized by a defunct transit system and cranky from rain, Tamara and I decided to make a bunch of food for ourselves and the brave friends that came through in the “hurricane.”

The cheese plate was made figs from Tamara’s grandma’s fig tree. They grow figs! Amazing. Who grows actual stuff that tastes good?

The salad was made with lemon cucumbers, which are so weird and prickly but also kind of tart and sweet cucumbers. Alsoo from Mina’s garden.

Tamara made a rack of ribs in Bone Suckin’ Sauce and Mina’s figs. I don’t fuck with making meat, so I am impressed that she knew how to take a big slab of meat and tame it into something not just edible but also ridiculously good. Tamara’s mom made the best beans I have ever eaten in my life. Hi Maria! I love the beans, thanks for letting me sleep over.

So all in all, yes, this was a bullshit ass hurricane and a huge disappointment but boredom drove us to make good food and also maybe I’ll smoke weed because I feel stir crazy. Next time there’s a hurricane you should come over I’m going to sleep bye.

# asparagus brooklyn cheese plate chicken cutlet figs hurricane not a hurricane ribs rice and beans tamara yelena lemon cucumber hurricane irene brooklyn brooklyn axent

Posted 9 months ago 3 notes View comments
yelena Hi guys, this is the mother-load. Friend and fellow connoisseur of anything edible, Briana Milman, recommended Grand Sichuan House to us a few months ago but we’re all soooo busy blah blah blah look at our fabulous lives. When we got to Bay Ridge, a raving spice profile by (love of my life) Robert Sietsema hung in the window. Good sign! Really ready to sweat. Except, ok. Not to say that it is was a (huge) mistake, but several members of our “dining party” (har har) are adamantly against spicy food. NO! COME ON! We had to settle on mostly non-spicy dishes with two exceptions. Adam and I got chengdu dumplings in allegedly hot hot chili oil. The meat was fresh, the dumplings tender - I won’t say I drank the chili oil but I also won’t say I didn’t. I will say it wasn’t spicy enough while I was pouring it down my gullet. Tamara ordered the funniest thing ever which was cold jellyfish, shaped like noodles. Tasted ike dancing, squiggly pop rocks . We also got diced flounder in sweet & sour sauce. Apparently I love flounder - it has an amazing texture which is more buttery shellfish than anything. I’ve only ever had it floating through a hazy hot chili oil. I take issue with that fact that this time I was eating this delectable fish in a thick, sweet American sauce. As good as it was, I couldn’t come to terms with being served a bullshit version of any dish. Adam and I ordered double cooked pork - a deceptively titled. The shit is just thick slabs of crunchy, soft (almost bacon-like) pork with a mildly peppery finish. Ginger duck, total winner! Tasted like lamb. In reality this was a ridiculously good meal with fresh ingredients but I can’t help but harp on the fact that we were served the mild, white-people version of everything. Come on, stop doubting my palate and other irrelevant compaints!?  I walked in expecting to sweat my brains out but left totally unstimulated. If you want to try sichuan food but hate spice, come here. But I’m looking for a few brave men (I am actually just not soliciting women for this) who to eat smoked tea duck and cumin lamb that will scorch your mouth. Get at me! tamara i once wrote this thing about how all beer basically tastes like urine and “good” beer is measured solely by how little urine-reminiscence there is*.  the same people who try  to convince me to eat spicy food are the same people who tell me that guinness tastes like chocolate.  you’re all insane!  and spicy food is the worst, right?  why do you want your food to set fire to your mouth?!  get a job! my infantile palate demanded that we opt for dishes without the scary hot pepper symbol i’ve come to fear.  here are some things that’ll make you scream but not set you on fire.  conch!  i’ve never had this crazy mollusk but this was iNsAnE.  the wild peppery sauce takes over your entire mouth after you finish chewing/swallowing the fish, making you taste the beach over and over (and over and over).  drinking water only makes it more intense!  and then - jellyfish.  this pile of transparent blobs fights you as you chew.  is jellyfish alive when you eat it?  because it literally dances all over your mouth.  most fun thing to eat ever. i forced my way into the shredded duck with ginger, which was SO GOOD.  duck is usually fatty butter meat, right?  this duck is gamey, in a london-broil-brisket kind of way, with periodic bursts of ginger.  gamey usually = garbage but this way of cooking duck kills.  the prawns in citrus sauce continued our sweet detour - although the sauce was pretty bland (kind of like this sauce), the prawns were amazing buttery pillows.  i called the prawns “shrimp” and yelena yelled at me. *note: while i still stand by my piss metrics, i eventually had a change of heart.  i once drank a hoegaarden draft with various citrus zests and something amazing called “yeasty beer” after a few hours of “research” here.  i had a beer-piphany, or something!  cool!  let’s drink ten beers and eat jellyfish.yelena Hi guys, this is the mother-load. Friend and fellow connoisseur of anything edible, Briana Milman, recommended Grand Sichuan House to us a few months ago but we’re all soooo busy blah blah blah look at our fabulous lives. When we got to Bay Ridge, a raving spice profile by (love of my life) Robert Sietsema hung in the window. Good sign! Really ready to sweat. Except, ok. Not to say that it is was a (huge) mistake, but several members of our “dining party” (har har) are adamantly against spicy food. NO! COME ON! We had to settle on mostly non-spicy dishes with two exceptions. Adam and I got chengdu dumplings in allegedly hot hot chili oil. The meat was fresh, the dumplings tender - I won’t say I drank the chili oil but I also won’t say I didn’t. I will say it wasn’t spicy enough while I was pouring it down my gullet. Tamara ordered the funniest thing ever which was cold jellyfish, shaped like noodles. Tasted ike dancing, squiggly pop rocks . We also got diced flounder in sweet & sour sauce. Apparently I love flounder - it has an amazing texture which is more buttery shellfish than anything. I’ve only ever had it floating through a hazy hot chili oil. I take issue with that fact that this time I was eating this delectable fish in a thick, sweet American sauce. As good as it was, I couldn’t come to terms with being served a bullshit version of any dish. Adam and I ordered double cooked pork - a deceptively titled. The shit is just thick slabs of crunchy, soft (almost bacon-like) pork with a mildly peppery finish. Ginger duck, total winner! Tasted like lamb. In reality this was a ridiculously good meal with fresh ingredients but I can’t help but harp on the fact that we were served the mild, white-people version of everything. Come on, stop doubting my palate and other irrelevant compaints!?  I walked in expecting to sweat my brains out but left totally unstimulated. If you want to try sichuan food but hate spice, come here. But I’m looking for a few brave men (I am actually just not soliciting women for this) who to eat smoked tea duck and cumin lamb that will scorch your mouth. Get at me! tamara i once wrote this thing about how all beer basically tastes like urine and “good” beer is measured solely by how little urine-reminiscence there is*.  the same people who try  to convince me to eat spicy food are the same people who tell me that guinness tastes like chocolate.  you’re all insane!  and spicy food is the worst, right?  why do you want your food to set fire to your mouth?!  get a job! my infantile palate demanded that we opt for dishes without the scary hot pepper symbol i’ve come to fear.  here are some things that’ll make you scream but not set you on fire.  conch!  i’ve never had this crazy mollusk but this was iNsAnE.  the wild peppery sauce takes over your entire mouth after you finish chewing/swallowing the fish, making you taste the beach over and over (and over and over).  drinking water only makes it more intense!  and then - jellyfish.  this pile of transparent blobs fights you as you chew.  is jellyfish alive when you eat it?  because it literally dances all over your mouth.  most fun thing to eat ever. i forced my way into the shredded duck with ginger, which was SO GOOD.  duck is usually fatty butter meat, right?  this duck is gamey, in a london-broil-brisket kind of way, with periodic bursts of ginger.  gamey usually = garbage but this way of cooking duck kills.  the prawns in citrus sauce continued our sweet detour - although the sauce was pretty bland (kind of like this sauce), the prawns were amazing buttery pillows.  i called the prawns “shrimp” and yelena yelled at me. *note: while i still stand by my piss metrics, i eventually had a change of heart.  i once drank a hoegaarden draft with various citrus zests and something amazing called “yeasty beer” after a few hours of “research” here.  i had a beer-piphany, or something!  cool!  let’s drink ten beers and eat jellyfish.yelena Hi guys, this is the mother-load. Friend and fellow connoisseur of anything edible, Briana Milman, recommended Grand Sichuan House to us a few months ago but we’re all soooo busy blah blah blah look at our fabulous lives. When we got to Bay Ridge, a raving spice profile by (love of my life) Robert Sietsema hung in the window. Good sign! Really ready to sweat. Except, ok. Not to say that it is was a (huge) mistake, but several members of our “dining party” (har har) are adamantly against spicy food. NO! COME ON! We had to settle on mostly non-spicy dishes with two exceptions. Adam and I got chengdu dumplings in allegedly hot hot chili oil. The meat was fresh, the dumplings tender - I won’t say I drank the chili oil but I also won’t say I didn’t. I will say it wasn’t spicy enough while I was pouring it down my gullet. Tamara ordered the funniest thing ever which was cold jellyfish, shaped like noodles. Tasted ike dancing, squiggly pop rocks . We also got diced flounder in sweet & sour sauce. Apparently I love flounder - it has an amazing texture which is more buttery shellfish than anything. I’ve only ever had it floating through a hazy hot chili oil. I take issue with that fact that this time I was eating this delectable fish in a thick, sweet American sauce. As good as it was, I couldn’t come to terms with being served a bullshit version of any dish. Adam and I ordered double cooked pork - a deceptively titled. The shit is just thick slabs of crunchy, soft (almost bacon-like) pork with a mildly peppery finish. Ginger duck, total winner! Tasted like lamb. In reality this was a ridiculously good meal with fresh ingredients but I can’t help but harp on the fact that we were served the mild, white-people version of everything. Come on, stop doubting my palate and other irrelevant compaints!?  I walked in expecting to sweat my brains out but left totally unstimulated. If you want to try sichuan food but hate spice, come here. But I’m looking for a few brave men (I am actually just not soliciting women for this) who to eat smoked tea duck and cumin lamb that will scorch your mouth. Get at me! tamara i once wrote this thing about how all beer basically tastes like urine and “good” beer is measured solely by how little urine-reminiscence there is*.  the same people who try  to convince me to eat spicy food are the same people who tell me that guinness tastes like chocolate.  you’re all insane!  and spicy food is the worst, right?  why do you want your food to set fire to your mouth?!  get a job! my infantile palate demanded that we opt for dishes without the scary hot pepper symbol i’ve come to fear.  here are some things that’ll make you scream but not set you on fire.  conch!  i’ve never had this crazy mollusk but this was iNsAnE.  the wild peppery sauce takes over your entire mouth after you finish chewing/swallowing the fish, making you taste the beach over and over (and over and over).  drinking water only makes it more intense!  and then - jellyfish.  this pile of transparent blobs fights you as you chew.  is jellyfish alive when you eat it?  because it literally dances all over your mouth.  most fun thing to eat ever. i forced my way into the shredded duck with ginger, which was SO GOOD.  duck is usually fatty butter meat, right?  this duck is gamey, in a london-broil-brisket kind of way, with periodic bursts of ginger.  gamey usually = garbage but this way of cooking duck kills.  the prawns in citrus sauce continued our sweet detour - although the sauce was pretty bland (kind of like this sauce), the prawns were amazing buttery pillows.  i called the prawns “shrimp” and yelena yelled at me. *note: while i still stand by my piss metrics, i eventually had a change of heart.  i once drank a hoegaarden draft with various citrus zests and something amazing called “yeasty beer” after a few hours of “research” here.  i had a beer-piphany, or something!  cool!  let’s drink ten beers and eat jellyfish.yelena Hi guys, this is the mother-load. Friend and fellow connoisseur of anything edible, Briana Milman, recommended Grand Sichuan House to us a few months ago but we’re all soooo busy blah blah blah look at our fabulous lives. When we got to Bay Ridge, a raving spice profile by (love of my life) Robert Sietsema hung in the window. Good sign! Really ready to sweat. Except, ok. Not to say that it is was a (huge) mistake, but several members of our “dining party” (har har) are adamantly against spicy food. NO! COME ON! We had to settle on mostly non-spicy dishes with two exceptions. Adam and I got chengdu dumplings in allegedly hot hot chili oil. The meat was fresh, the dumplings tender - I won’t say I drank the chili oil but I also won’t say I didn’t. I will say it wasn’t spicy enough while I was pouring it down my gullet. Tamara ordered the funniest thing ever which was cold jellyfish, shaped like noodles. Tasted ike dancing, squiggly pop rocks . We also got diced flounder in sweet & sour sauce. Apparently I love flounder - it has an amazing texture which is more buttery shellfish than anything. I’ve only ever had it floating through a hazy hot chili oil. I take issue with that fact that this time I was eating this delectable fish in a thick, sweet American sauce. As good as it was, I couldn’t come to terms with being served a bullshit version of any dish. Adam and I ordered double cooked pork - a deceptively titled. The shit is just thick slabs of crunchy, soft (almost bacon-like) pork with a mildly peppery finish. Ginger duck, total winner! Tasted like lamb. In reality this was a ridiculously good meal with fresh ingredients but I can’t help but harp on the fact that we were served the mild, white-people version of everything. Come on, stop doubting my palate and other irrelevant compaints!?  I walked in expecting to sweat my brains out but left totally unstimulated. If you want to try sichuan food but hate spice, come here. But I’m looking for a few brave men (I am actually just not soliciting women for this) who to eat smoked tea duck and cumin lamb that will scorch your mouth. Get at me! tamara i once wrote this thing about how all beer basically tastes like urine and “good” beer is measured solely by how little urine-reminiscence there is*.  the same people who try  to convince me to eat spicy food are the same people who tell me that guinness tastes like chocolate.  you’re all insane!  and spicy food is the worst, right?  why do you want your food to set fire to your mouth?!  get a job! my infantile palate demanded that we opt for dishes without the scary hot pepper symbol i’ve come to fear.  here are some things that’ll make you scream but not set you on fire.  conch!  i’ve never had this crazy mollusk but this was iNsAnE.  the wild peppery sauce takes over your entire mouth after you finish chewing/swallowing the fish, making you taste the beach over and over (and over and over).  drinking water only makes it more intense!  and then - jellyfish.  this pile of transparent blobs fights you as you chew.  is jellyfish alive when you eat it?  because it literally dances all over your mouth.  most fun thing to eat ever. i forced my way into the shredded duck with ginger, which was SO GOOD.  duck is usually fatty butter meat, right?  this duck is gamey, in a london-broil-brisket kind of way, with periodic bursts of ginger.  gamey usually = garbage but this way of cooking duck kills.  the prawns in citrus sauce continued our sweet detour - although the sauce was pretty bland (kind of like this sauce), the prawns were amazing buttery pillows.  i called the prawns “shrimp” and yelena yelled at me. *note: while i still stand by my piss metrics, i eventually had a change of heart.  i once drank a hoegaarden draft with various citrus zests and something amazing called “yeasty beer” after a few hours of “research” here.  i had a beer-piphany, or something!  cool!  let’s drink ten beers and eat jellyfish.yelena Hi guys, this is the mother-load. Friend and fellow connoisseur of anything edible, Briana Milman, recommended Grand Sichuan House to us a few months ago but we’re all soooo busy blah blah blah look at our fabulous lives. When we got to Bay Ridge, a raving spice profile by (love of my life) Robert Sietsema hung in the window. Good sign! Really ready to sweat. Except, ok. Not to say that it is was a (huge) mistake, but several members of our “dining party” (har har) are adamantly against spicy food. NO! COME ON! We had to settle on mostly non-spicy dishes with two exceptions. Adam and I got chengdu dumplings in allegedly hot hot chili oil. The meat was fresh, the dumplings tender - I won’t say I drank the chili oil but I also won’t say I didn’t. I will say it wasn’t spicy enough while I was pouring it down my gullet. Tamara ordered the funniest thing ever which was cold jellyfish, shaped like noodles. Tasted ike dancing, squiggly pop rocks . We also got diced flounder in sweet & sour sauce. Apparently I love flounder - it has an amazing texture which is more buttery shellfish than anything. I’ve only ever had it floating through a hazy hot chili oil. I take issue with that fact that this time I was eating this delectable fish in a thick, sweet American sauce. As good as it was, I couldn’t come to terms with being served a bullshit version of any dish. Adam and I ordered double cooked pork - a deceptively titled. The shit is just thick slabs of crunchy, soft (almost bacon-like) pork with a mildly peppery finish. Ginger duck, total winner! Tasted like lamb. In reality this was a ridiculously good meal with fresh ingredients but I can’t help but harp on the fact that we were served the mild, white-people version of everything. Come on, stop doubting my palate and other irrelevant compaints!?  I walked in expecting to sweat my brains out but left totally unstimulated. If you want to try sichuan food but hate spice, come here. But I’m looking for a few brave men (I am actually just not soliciting women for this) who to eat smoked tea duck and cumin lamb that will scorch your mouth. Get at me! tamara i once wrote this thing about how all beer basically tastes like urine and “good” beer is measured solely by how little urine-reminiscence there is*.  the same people who try  to convince me to eat spicy food are the same people who tell me that guinness tastes like chocolate.  you’re all insane!  and spicy food is the worst, right?  why do you want your food to set fire to your mouth?!  get a job! my infantile palate demanded that we opt for dishes without the scary hot pepper symbol i’ve come to fear.  here are some things that’ll make you scream but not set you on fire.  conch!  i’ve never had this crazy mollusk but this was iNsAnE.  the wild peppery sauce takes over your entire mouth after you finish chewing/swallowing the fish, making you taste the beach over and over (and over and over).  drinking water only makes it more intense!  and then - jellyfish.  this pile of transparent blobs fights you as you chew.  is jellyfish alive when you eat it?  because it literally dances all over your mouth.  most fun thing to eat ever. i forced my way into the shredded duck with ginger, which was SO GOOD.  duck is usually fatty butter meat, right?  this duck is gamey, in a london-broil-brisket kind of way, with periodic bursts of ginger.  gamey usually = garbage but this way of cooking duck kills.  the prawns in citrus sauce continued our sweet detour - although the sauce was pretty bland (kind of like this sauce), the prawns were amazing buttery pillows.  i called the prawns “shrimp” and yelena yelled at me. *note: while i still stand by my piss metrics, i eventually had a change of heart.  i once drank a hoegaarden draft with various citrus zests and something amazing called “yeasty beer” after a few hours of “research” here.  i had a beer-piphany, or something!  cool!  let’s drink ten beers and eat jellyfish.yelena Hi guys, this is the mother-load. Friend and fellow connoisseur of anything edible, Briana Milman, recommended Grand Sichuan House to us a few months ago but we’re all soooo busy blah blah blah look at our fabulous lives. When we got to Bay Ridge, a raving spice profile by (love of my life) Robert Sietsema hung in the window. Good sign! Really ready to sweat. Except, ok. Not to say that it is was a (huge) mistake, but several members of our “dining party” (har har) are adamantly against spicy food. NO! COME ON! We had to settle on mostly non-spicy dishes with two exceptions. Adam and I got chengdu dumplings in allegedly hot hot chili oil. The meat was fresh, the dumplings tender - I won’t say I drank the chili oil but I also won’t say I didn’t. I will say it wasn’t spicy enough while I was pouring it down my gullet. Tamara ordered the funniest thing ever which was cold jellyfish, shaped like noodles. Tasted ike dancing, squiggly pop rocks . We also got diced flounder in sweet & sour sauce. Apparently I love flounder - it has an amazing texture which is more buttery shellfish than anything. I’ve only ever had it floating through a hazy hot chili oil. I take issue with that fact that this time I was eating this delectable fish in a thick, sweet American sauce. As good as it was, I couldn’t come to terms with being served a bullshit version of any dish. Adam and I ordered double cooked pork - a deceptively titled. The shit is just thick slabs of crunchy, soft (almost bacon-like) pork with a mildly peppery finish. Ginger duck, total winner! Tasted like lamb. In reality this was a ridiculously good meal with fresh ingredients but I can’t help but harp on the fact that we were served the mild, white-people version of everything. Come on, stop doubting my palate and other irrelevant compaints!?  I walked in expecting to sweat my brains out but left totally unstimulated. If you want to try sichuan food but hate spice, come here. But I’m looking for a few brave men (I am actually just not soliciting women for this) who to eat smoked tea duck and cumin lamb that will scorch your mouth. Get at me! tamara i once wrote this thing about how all beer basically tastes like urine and “good” beer is measured solely by how little urine-reminiscence there is*.  the same people who try  to convince me to eat spicy food are the same people who tell me that guinness tastes like chocolate.  you’re all insane!  and spicy food is the worst, right?  why do you want your food to set fire to your mouth?!  get a job! my infantile palate demanded that we opt for dishes without the scary hot pepper symbol i’ve come to fear.  here are some things that’ll make you scream but not set you on fire.  conch!  i’ve never had this crazy mollusk but this was iNsAnE.  the wild peppery sauce takes over your entire mouth after you finish chewing/swallowing the fish, making you taste the beach over and over (and over and over).  drinking water only makes it more intense!  and then - jellyfish.  this pile of transparent blobs fights you as you chew.  is jellyfish alive when you eat it?  because it literally dances all over your mouth.  most fun thing to eat ever. i forced my way into the shredded duck with ginger, which was SO GOOD.  duck is usually fatty butter meat, right?  this duck is gamey, in a london-broil-brisket kind of way, with periodic bursts of ginger.  gamey usually = garbage but this way of cooking duck kills.  the prawns in citrus sauce continued our sweet detour - although the sauce was pretty bland (kind of like this sauce), the prawns were amazing buttery pillows.  i called the prawns “shrimp” and yelena yelled at me. *note: while i still stand by my piss metrics, i eventually had a change of heart.  i once drank a hoegaarden draft with various citrus zests and something amazing called “yeasty beer” after a few hours of “research” here.  i had a beer-piphany, or something!  cool!  let’s drink ten beers and eat jellyfish.yelena Hi guys, this is the mother-load. Friend and fellow connoisseur of anything edible, Briana Milman, recommended Grand Sichuan House to us a few months ago but we’re all soooo busy blah blah blah look at our fabulous lives. When we got to Bay Ridge, a raving spice profile by (love of my life) Robert Sietsema hung in the window. Good sign! Really ready to sweat. Except, ok. Not to say that it is was a (huge) mistake, but several members of our “dining party” (har har) are adamantly against spicy food. NO! COME ON! We had to settle on mostly non-spicy dishes with two exceptions. Adam and I got chengdu dumplings in allegedly hot hot chili oil. The meat was fresh, the dumplings tender - I won’t say I drank the chili oil but I also won’t say I didn’t. I will say it wasn’t spicy enough while I was pouring it down my gullet. Tamara ordered the funniest thing ever which was cold jellyfish, shaped like noodles. Tasted ike dancing, squiggly pop rocks . We also got diced flounder in sweet & sour sauce. Apparently I love flounder - it has an amazing texture which is more buttery shellfish than anything. I’ve only ever had it floating through a hazy hot chili oil. I take issue with that fact that this time I was eating this delectable fish in a thick, sweet American sauce. As good as it was, I couldn’t come to terms with being served a bullshit version of any dish. Adam and I ordered double cooked pork - a deceptively titled. The shit is just thick slabs of crunchy, soft (almost bacon-like) pork with a mildly peppery finish. Ginger duck, total winner! Tasted like lamb. In reality this was a ridiculously good meal with fresh ingredients but I can’t help but harp on the fact that we were served the mild, white-people version of everything. Come on, stop doubting my palate and other irrelevant compaints!?  I walked in expecting to sweat my brains out but left totally unstimulated. If you want to try sichuan food but hate spice, come here. But I’m looking for a few brave men (I am actually just not soliciting women for this) who to eat smoked tea duck and cumin lamb that will scorch your mouth. Get at me! tamara i once wrote this thing about how all beer basically tastes like urine and “good” beer is measured solely by how little urine-reminiscence there is*.  the same people who try  to convince me to eat spicy food are the same people who tell me that guinness tastes like chocolate.  you’re all insane!  and spicy food is the worst, right?  why do you want your food to set fire to your mouth?!  get a job! my infantile palate demanded that we opt for dishes without the scary hot pepper symbol i’ve come to fear.  here are some things that’ll make you scream but not set you on fire.  conch!  i’ve never had this crazy mollusk but this was iNsAnE.  the wild peppery sauce takes over your entire mouth after you finish chewing/swallowing the fish, making you taste the beach over and over (and over and over).  drinking water only makes it more intense!  and then - jellyfish.  this pile of transparent blobs fights you as you chew.  is jellyfish alive when you eat it?  because it literally dances all over your mouth.  most fun thing to eat ever. i forced my way into the shredded duck with ginger, which was SO GOOD.  duck is usually fatty butter meat, right?  this duck is gamey, in a london-broil-brisket kind of way, with periodic bursts of ginger.  gamey usually = garbage but this way of cooking duck kills.  the prawns in citrus sauce continued our sweet detour - although the sauce was pretty bland (kind of like this sauce), the prawns were amazing buttery pillows.  i called the prawns “shrimp” and yelena yelled at me. *note: while i still stand by my piss metrics, i eventually had a change of heart.  i once drank a hoegaarden draft with various citrus zests and something amazing called “yeasty beer” after a few hours of “research” here.  i had a beer-piphany, or something!  cool!  let’s drink ten beers and eat jellyfish.yelena Hi guys, this is the mother-load. Friend and fellow connoisseur of anything edible, Briana Milman, recommended Grand Sichuan House to us a few months ago but we’re all soooo busy blah blah blah look at our fabulous lives. When we got to Bay Ridge, a raving spice profile by (love of my life) Robert Sietsema hung in the window. Good sign! Really ready to sweat. Except, ok. Not to say that it is was a (huge) mistake, but several members of our “dining party” (har har) are adamantly against spicy food. NO! COME ON! We had to settle on mostly non-spicy dishes with two exceptions. Adam and I got chengdu dumplings in allegedly hot hot chili oil. The meat was fresh, the dumplings tender - I won’t say I drank the chili oil but I also won’t say I didn’t. I will say it wasn’t spicy enough while I was pouring it down my gullet. Tamara ordered the funniest thing ever which was cold jellyfish, shaped like noodles. Tasted ike dancing, squiggly pop rocks . We also got diced flounder in sweet & sour sauce. Apparently I love flounder - it has an amazing texture which is more buttery shellfish than anything. I’ve only ever had it floating through a hazy hot chili oil. I take issue with that fact that this time I was eating this delectable fish in a thick, sweet American sauce. As good as it was, I couldn’t come to terms with being served a bullshit version of any dish. Adam and I ordered double cooked pork - a deceptively titled. The shit is just thick slabs of crunchy, soft (almost bacon-like) pork with a mildly peppery finish. Ginger duck, total winner! Tasted like lamb. In reality this was a ridiculously good meal with fresh ingredients but I can’t help but harp on the fact that we were served the mild, white-people version of everything. Come on, stop doubting my palate and other irrelevant compaints!?  I walked in expecting to sweat my brains out but left totally unstimulated. If you want to try sichuan food but hate spice, come here. But I’m looking for a few brave men (I am actually just not soliciting women for this) who to eat smoked tea duck and cumin lamb that will scorch your mouth. Get at me! tamara i once wrote this thing about how all beer basically tastes like urine and “good” beer is measured solely by how little urine-reminiscence there is*.  the same people who try  to convince me to eat spicy food are the same people who tell me that guinness tastes like chocolate.  you’re all insane!  and spicy food is the worst, right?  why do you want your food to set fire to your mouth?!  get a job! my infantile palate demanded that we opt for dishes without the scary hot pepper symbol i’ve come to fear.  here are some things that’ll make you scream but not set you on fire.  conch!  i’ve never had this crazy mollusk but this was iNsAnE.  the wild peppery sauce takes over your entire mouth after you finish chewing/swallowing the fish, making you taste the beach over and over (and over and over).  drinking water only makes it more intense!  and then - jellyfish.  this pile of transparent blobs fights you as you chew.  is jellyfish alive when you eat it?  because it literally dances all over your mouth.  most fun thing to eat ever. i forced my way into the shredded duck with ginger, which was SO GOOD.  duck is usually fatty butter meat, right?  this duck is gamey, in a london-broil-brisket kind of way, with periodic bursts of ginger.  gamey usually = garbage but this way of cooking duck kills.  the prawns in citrus sauce continued our sweet detour - although the sauce was pretty bland (kind of like this sauce), the prawns were amazing buttery pillows.  i called the prawns “shrimp” and yelena yelled at me. *note: while i still stand by my piss metrics, i eventually had a change of heart.  i once drank a hoegaarden draft with various citrus zests and something amazing called “yeasty beer” after a few hours of “research” here.  i had a beer-piphany, or something!  cool!  let’s drink ten beers and eat jellyfish.

yelena

Hi guys, this is the mother-load. Friend and fellow connoisseur of anything edible, Briana Milman, recommended Grand Sichuan House to us a few months ago but we’re all soooo busy blah blah blah look at our fabulous lives. When we got to Bay Ridge, a raving spice profile by (love of my life) Robert Sietsema hung in the window. Good sign! Really ready to sweat.

Except, ok. Not to say that it is was a (huge) mistake, but several members of our “dining party” (har har) are adamantly against spicy food. NO! COME ON! We had to settle on mostly non-spicy dishes with two exceptions. Adam and I got chengdu dumplings in allegedly hot hot chili oil. The meat was fresh, the dumplings tender - I won’t say I drank the chili oil but I also won’t say I didn’t. I will say it wasn’t spicy enough while I was pouring it down my gullet.

Tamara ordered the funniest thing ever which was cold jellyfish, shaped like noodles. Tasted ike dancing, squiggly pop rocks . We also got diced flounder in sweet & sour sauce. Apparently I love flounder - it has an amazing texture which is more buttery shellfish than anything. I’ve only ever had it floating through a hazy hot chili oil. I take issue with that fact that this time I was eating this delectable fish in a thick, sweet American sauce. As good as it was, I couldn’t come to terms with being served a bullshit version of any dish. Adam and I ordered double cooked pork - a deceptively titled. The shit is just thick slabs of crunchy, soft (almost bacon-like) pork with a mildly peppery finish. Ginger duck, total winner! Tasted like lamb.

In reality this was a ridiculously good meal with fresh ingredients but I can’t help but harp on the fact that we were served the mild, white-people version of everything. Come on, stop doubting my palate and other irrelevant compaints!?  I walked in expecting to sweat my brains out but left totally unstimulated. If you want to try sichuan food but hate spice, come here. But I’m looking for a few brave men (I am actually just not soliciting women for this) who to eat smoked tea duck and cumin lamb that will scorch your mouth. Get at me!

tamara

i once wrote this thing about how all beer basically tastes like urine and “good” beer is measured solely by how little urine-reminiscence there is*.  the same people who try  to convince me to eat spicy food are the same people who tell me that guinness tastes like chocolate.  you’re all insane!  and spicy food is the worst, right?  why do you want your food to set fire to your mouth?!  get a job!

my infantile palate demanded that we opt for dishes without the scary hot pepper symbol i’ve come to fear.  here are some things that’ll make you scream but not set you on fire.  conch!  i’ve never had this crazy mollusk but this was iNsAnE.  the wild peppery sauce takes over your entire mouth after you finish chewing/swallowing the fish, making you taste the beach over and over (and over and over).  drinking water only makes it more intense!  and then - jellyfish.  this pile of transparent blobs fights you as you chew.  is jellyfish alive when you eat it?  because it literally dances all over your mouth.  most fun thing to eat ever.

i forced my way into the shredded duck with ginger, which was SO GOOD.  duck is usually fatty butter meat, right?  this duck is gamey, in a london-broil-brisket kind of way, with periodic bursts of ginger.  gamey usually = garbage but this way of cooking duck kills.  the prawns in citrus sauce continued our sweet detour - although the sauce was pretty bland (kind of like this sauce), the prawns were amazing buttery pillows.  i called the prawns “shrimp” and yelena yelled at me.

*note: while i still stand by my piss metrics, i eventually had a change of heart.  i once drank a hoegaarden draft with various citrus zests and something amazing called “yeasty beer” after a few hours of “research” here.  i had a beer-piphany, or something!  cool!  let’s drink ten beers and eat jellyfish.

# bay ridge bklyn brooklyn conch duck grand sichuan house jelly fish pop rocks pork sichuan spicy szechuan tma yelena soup dumplings prawns flounder

Posted 9 months ago 12 notes View comments
Yelena Wong Kar Wai presents In The Mood for Tacos.  After a night of awkwardly drinking a lot a lot a lot too much at a bougie office party, Tamara and I ended up  on 51st and 5th Ave in Sunset Park, at Rico’s Tacos at 2 AM. Jamie claimed that these were the best tacos on the planet and I didn’t believe him until I had one a few months ago. This is not some white people shit.  Each came with quesillo, a hefty lime, a ton of cilantro, radishes and complimentary avocado hot sauce. I don’t really know what to say, there’s kind of no food in the world that compares to this. I’d bottle and sell the scent of a singular taco if I could. Also, I ate a really hot pepper and cried a lot. tamara every time we have to pick a place to eat, i’m always the jerk that’s like, ugh - can we not get burritos or tacos or any of that shit?  i’m also the one who complains about thai food, anything spicy, and all fruits & veggies, so i’m obviously a real great dinner companion.  leave me alone about it - i grew up hating the stuff my parents called “mexican” food (no excuse, dad, all your friends are from mexico) from these places.  i was also force-fed rice and beans, so grain-filled burritos are a thing of nightmares. recently intrigued by the tacos served at this 24-hour joint, yelena and i stumbled to rico’s instead of going to another bar (responsible choice).  oh, don’t you live somewhere with pork skin, tongue, and carnitas tacos available at 2am?  haha, we do!  and i totally got to have a revelation that mexican food isn’t based in rice and sour cream (amazing!).  the tacos come in big (tacos) and small (taquitos).  the pork skin is chewy, salty - a surprise, because we definitely pictured cracklings.  also tongue?  have you had tongue before?  i hadn’t and i’m down to eat this all day, every day.  the carnitas were killer - moist, smokey, and soft.  by the way - order the tripe and tell us how it was because they were out when i ordered it!  the waitress looked really sorry about it (she’s the best, tip her well).  if you eat your food outside, you can hang out with some guys who spit on the floor a lot and are trying to figure out how to fix their motorbike. ps - the pepper made yelena do this and she couldn’t talk for like twenty minutes.  don’t do it.Yelena Wong Kar Wai presents In The Mood for Tacos.  After a night of awkwardly drinking a lot a lot a lot too much at a bougie office party, Tamara and I ended up  on 51st and 5th Ave in Sunset Park, at Rico’s Tacos at 2 AM. Jamie claimed that these were the best tacos on the planet and I didn’t believe him until I had one a few months ago. This is not some white people shit.  Each came with quesillo, a hefty lime, a ton of cilantro, radishes and complimentary avocado hot sauce. I don’t really know what to say, there’s kind of no food in the world that compares to this. I’d bottle and sell the scent of a singular taco if I could. Also, I ate a really hot pepper and cried a lot. tamara every time we have to pick a place to eat, i’m always the jerk that’s like, ugh - can we not get burritos or tacos or any of that shit?  i’m also the one who complains about thai food, anything spicy, and all fruits & veggies, so i’m obviously a real great dinner companion.  leave me alone about it - i grew up hating the stuff my parents called “mexican” food (no excuse, dad, all your friends are from mexico) from these places.  i was also force-fed rice and beans, so grain-filled burritos are a thing of nightmares. recently intrigued by the tacos served at this 24-hour joint, yelena and i stumbled to rico’s instead of going to another bar (responsible choice).  oh, don’t you live somewhere with pork skin, tongue, and carnitas tacos available at 2am?  haha, we do!  and i totally got to have a revelation that mexican food isn’t based in rice and sour cream (amazing!).  the tacos come in big (tacos) and small (taquitos).  the pork skin is chewy, salty - a surprise, because we definitely pictured cracklings.  also tongue?  have you had tongue before?  i hadn’t and i’m down to eat this all day, every day.  the carnitas were killer - moist, smokey, and soft.  by the way - order the tripe and tell us how it was because they were out when i ordered it!  the waitress looked really sorry about it (she’s the best, tip her well).  if you eat your food outside, you can hang out with some guys who spit on the floor a lot and are trying to figure out how to fix their motorbike. ps - the pepper made yelena do this and she couldn’t talk for like twenty minutes.  don’t do it.

Yelena

Wong Kar Wai presents In The Mood for Tacos.  After a night of awkwardly drinking a lot a lot a lot too much at a bougie office party, Tamara and I ended up  on 51st and 5th Ave in Sunset Park, at Rico’s Tacos at 2 AM. Jamie claimed that these were the best tacos on the planet and I didn’t believe him until I had one a few months ago. This is not some white people shit.  Each came with quesillo, a hefty lime, a ton of cilantro, radishes and complimentary avocado hot sauce. I don’t really know what to say, there’s kind of no food in the world that compares to this. I’d bottle and sell the scent of a singular taco if I could. Also, I ate a really hot pepper and cried a lot.

tamara

every time we have to pick a place to eat, i’m always the jerk that’s like, ugh - can we not get burritos or tacos or any of that shit?  i’m also the one who complains about thai food, anything spicy, and all fruits & veggies, so i’m obviously a real great dinner companion.  leave me alone about it - i grew up hating the stuff my parents called “mexican” food (no excuse, dad, all your friends are from mexico) from these places.  i was also force-fed rice and beans, so grain-filled burritos are a thing of nightmares.

recently intrigued by the tacos served at this 24-hour joint, yelena and i stumbled to rico’s instead of going to another bar (responsible choice).  oh, don’t you live somewhere with pork skin, tongue, and carnitas tacos available at 2am?  haha, we do!  and i totally got to have a revelation that mexican food isn’t based in rice and sour cream (amazing!).  the tacos come in big (tacos) and small (taquitos).  the pork skin is chewy, salty - a surprise, because we definitely pictured cracklings.  also tongue?  have you had tongue before?  i hadn’t and i’m down to eat this all day, every day.  the carnitas were killer - moist, smokey, and soft.  by the way - order the tripe and tell us how it was because they were out when i ordered it!  the waitress looked really sorry about it (she’s the best, tip her well).  if you eat your food outside, you can hang out with some guys who spit on the floor a lot and are trying to figure out how to fix their motorbike.

ps - the pepper made yelena do this and she couldn’t talk for like twenty minutes.  don’t do it.

# yelena tamara rico's tacos tacos sunset park tongue pork skin carnitas brooklyn

Posted 10 months ago 11 notes View comments
Yelena: Here is some writing fueled by my fury. Was there a time in my life, mere weeks ago, when I had money to eat oysters? I WOULD KILL A MAN FOR AN OYSTER. I would not kill a man for an oyster but ya know, somethin’. Tamara is in L.A. being a fancy pants so let me tell you AWL ABOUT Cornelius in Prospect Heights. First of all, BLUE POINT OYSTERS $1 ALL DAY. I am sold. People claim that blue points are too briny but I tend to disagree. That or, they happened to be perfect this time. Salty, big, slimy, bulbous…perfect with or without that insane horseradish sauce. Pretty amazing to eat something that is alive but too stupid to know it! Eating oysters is a visceral experience. What do you think? Do you chew ‘em before you swallow? Sauce or no sauce? I’m a fan of every single combination. To wash all that living matter drenched in sea salt down you can also get (nobody puke) a $2 whiskey shot! Yay everybody puke this place is the best yay! Tamara and this guy split a charcuterie board with some kinda duck prosciutto and soft cheese yum yums. I am not sure, if she hadn’t abandoned our blog baby maybe you’d know more about it. Last but certainly not least was the duck Ruben with stinky Gorgonzola. So crispy and buttery. It reminded me of sandwiches my grandma used to make me called “hot sandwiches” (very descriptive). In a time before toaster ovens, my grandma would turn on a real oven and pop in some bread, salami and cheese and BAKE me a sandwich. What a lady. This was my favorite food in the world primarily because my mother forbade it. That shit was a secret between me and my grandma. This duck Ruben is a secret between you and me, Internet. Don’t tell anyone except tell everyone cause it’s great! Alright, I know, this is me. Cheez-it time see ya later.Yelena: Here is some writing fueled by my fury. Was there a time in my life, mere weeks ago, when I had money to eat oysters? I WOULD KILL A MAN FOR AN OYSTER. I would not kill a man for an oyster but ya know, somethin’. Tamara is in L.A. being a fancy pants so let me tell you AWL ABOUT Cornelius in Prospect Heights. First of all, BLUE POINT OYSTERS $1 ALL DAY. I am sold. People claim that blue points are too briny but I tend to disagree. That or, they happened to be perfect this time. Salty, big, slimy, bulbous…perfect with or without that insane horseradish sauce. Pretty amazing to eat something that is alive but too stupid to know it! Eating oysters is a visceral experience. What do you think? Do you chew ‘em before you swallow? Sauce or no sauce? I’m a fan of every single combination. To wash all that living matter drenched in sea salt down you can also get (nobody puke) a $2 whiskey shot! Yay everybody puke this place is the best yay! Tamara and this guy split a charcuterie board with some kinda duck prosciutto and soft cheese yum yums. I am not sure, if she hadn’t abandoned our blog baby maybe you’d know more about it. Last but certainly not least was the duck Ruben with stinky Gorgonzola. So crispy and buttery. It reminded me of sandwiches my grandma used to make me called “hot sandwiches” (very descriptive). In a time before toaster ovens, my grandma would turn on a real oven and pop in some bread, salami and cheese and BAKE me a sandwich. What a lady. This was my favorite food in the world primarily because my mother forbade it. That shit was a secret between me and my grandma. This duck Ruben is a secret between you and me, Internet. Don’t tell anyone except tell everyone cause it’s great! Alright, I know, this is me. Cheez-it time see ya later.Yelena: Here is some writing fueled by my fury. Was there a time in my life, mere weeks ago, when I had money to eat oysters? I WOULD KILL A MAN FOR AN OYSTER. I would not kill a man for an oyster but ya know, somethin’. Tamara is in L.A. being a fancy pants so let me tell you AWL ABOUT Cornelius in Prospect Heights. First of all, BLUE POINT OYSTERS $1 ALL DAY. I am sold. People claim that blue points are too briny but I tend to disagree. That or, they happened to be perfect this time. Salty, big, slimy, bulbous…perfect with or without that insane horseradish sauce. Pretty amazing to eat something that is alive but too stupid to know it! Eating oysters is a visceral experience. What do you think? Do you chew ‘em before you swallow? Sauce or no sauce? I’m a fan of every single combination. To wash all that living matter drenched in sea salt down you can also get (nobody puke) a $2 whiskey shot! Yay everybody puke this place is the best yay! Tamara and this guy split a charcuterie board with some kinda duck prosciutto and soft cheese yum yums. I am not sure, if she hadn’t abandoned our blog baby maybe you’d know more about it. Last but certainly not least was the duck Ruben with stinky Gorgonzola. So crispy and buttery. It reminded me of sandwiches my grandma used to make me called “hot sandwiches” (very descriptive). In a time before toaster ovens, my grandma would turn on a real oven and pop in some bread, salami and cheese and BAKE me a sandwich. What a lady. This was my favorite food in the world primarily because my mother forbade it. That shit was a secret between me and my grandma. This duck Ruben is a secret between you and me, Internet. Don’t tell anyone except tell everyone cause it’s great! Alright, I know, this is me. Cheez-it time see ya later.Yelena: Here is some writing fueled by my fury. Was there a time in my life, mere weeks ago, when I had money to eat oysters? I WOULD KILL A MAN FOR AN OYSTER. I would not kill a man for an oyster but ya know, somethin’. Tamara is in L.A. being a fancy pants so let me tell you AWL ABOUT Cornelius in Prospect Heights. First of all, BLUE POINT OYSTERS $1 ALL DAY. I am sold. People claim that blue points are too briny but I tend to disagree. That or, they happened to be perfect this time. Salty, big, slimy, bulbous…perfect with or without that insane horseradish sauce. Pretty amazing to eat something that is alive but too stupid to know it! Eating oysters is a visceral experience. What do you think? Do you chew ‘em before you swallow? Sauce or no sauce? I’m a fan of every single combination. To wash all that living matter drenched in sea salt down you can also get (nobody puke) a $2 whiskey shot! Yay everybody puke this place is the best yay! Tamara and this guy split a charcuterie board with some kinda duck prosciutto and soft cheese yum yums. I am not sure, if she hadn’t abandoned our blog baby maybe you’d know more about it. Last but certainly not least was the duck Ruben with stinky Gorgonzola. So crispy and buttery. It reminded me of sandwiches my grandma used to make me called “hot sandwiches” (very descriptive). In a time before toaster ovens, my grandma would turn on a real oven and pop in some bread, salami and cheese and BAKE me a sandwich. What a lady. This was my favorite food in the world primarily because my mother forbade it. That shit was a secret between me and my grandma. This duck Ruben is a secret between you and me, Internet. Don’t tell anyone except tell everyone cause it’s great! Alright, I know, this is me. Cheez-it time see ya later.Yelena: Here is some writing fueled by my fury. Was there a time in my life, mere weeks ago, when I had money to eat oysters? I WOULD KILL A MAN FOR AN OYSTER. I would not kill a man for an oyster but ya know, somethin’. Tamara is in L.A. being a fancy pants so let me tell you AWL ABOUT Cornelius in Prospect Heights. First of all, BLUE POINT OYSTERS $1 ALL DAY. I am sold. People claim that blue points are too briny but I tend to disagree. That or, they happened to be perfect this time. Salty, big, slimy, bulbous…perfect with or without that insane horseradish sauce. Pretty amazing to eat something that is alive but too stupid to know it! Eating oysters is a visceral experience. What do you think? Do you chew ‘em before you swallow? Sauce or no sauce? I’m a fan of every single combination. To wash all that living matter drenched in sea salt down you can also get (nobody puke) a $2 whiskey shot! Yay everybody puke this place is the best yay! Tamara and this guy split a charcuterie board with some kinda duck prosciutto and soft cheese yum yums. I am not sure, if she hadn’t abandoned our blog baby maybe you’d know more about it. Last but certainly not least was the duck Ruben with stinky Gorgonzola. So crispy and buttery. It reminded me of sandwiches my grandma used to make me called “hot sandwiches” (very descriptive). In a time before toaster ovens, my grandma would turn on a real oven and pop in some bread, salami and cheese and BAKE me a sandwich. What a lady. This was my favorite food in the world primarily because my mother forbade it. That shit was a secret between me and my grandma. This duck Ruben is a secret between you and me, Internet. Don’t tell anyone except tell everyone cause it’s great! Alright, I know, this is me. Cheez-it time see ya later.

Yelena:

Here is some writing fueled by my fury. Was there a time in my life, mere weeks ago, when I had money to eat oysters? I WOULD KILL A MAN FOR AN OYSTER. I would not kill a man for an oyster but ya know, somethin’.

Tamara is in L.A. being a fancy pants so let me tell you AWL ABOUT Cornelius in Prospect Heights. First of all, BLUE POINT OYSTERS $1 ALL DAY. I am sold. People claim that blue points are too briny but I tend to disagree. That or, they happened to be perfect this time. Salty, big, slimy, bulbous…perfect with or without that insane horseradish sauce. Pretty amazing to eat something that is alive but too stupid to know it! Eating oysters is a visceral experience. What do you think? Do you chew ‘em before you swallow? Sauce or no sauce? I’m a fan of every single combination.

To wash all that living matter drenched in sea salt down you can also get (nobody puke) a $2 whiskey shot! Yay everybody puke this place is the best yay!

Tamara and this guy split a charcuterie board with some kinda duck prosciutto and soft cheese yum yums. I am not sure, if she hadn’t abandoned our blog baby maybe you’d know more about it.

Last but certainly not least was the duck Ruben with stinky Gorgonzola. So crispy and buttery. It reminded me of sandwiches my grandma used to make me called “hot sandwiches” (very descriptive). In a time before toaster ovens, my grandma would turn on a real oven and pop in some bread, salami and cheese and BAKE me a sandwich. What a lady. This was my favorite food in the world primarily because my mother forbade it. That shit was a secret between me and my grandma. This duck Ruben is a secret between you and me, Internet. Don’t tell anyone except tell everyone cause it’s great!

Alright, I know, this is me. Cheez-it time see ya later.

# brooklyn charcuterie cornelius duck duck rueben oysters prospect heights prospect heights yelena sandwich seafood nyc

Posted 10 months ago 9 notes View comments
tamara so, we wrote about hope & anchor once before. this time we brought some gentleman company and succeeded in stuffing ourselves to the sleeping point. we got four appetizers (each, jk not really, but uh yeah really we did) and the sauces stole the show.  there was a lemon aioli for the calamari (which prompted an impassioned debate about the egg content of said sauce), horseradish sauce for the mac & cheese fritters, and malt vinegar sauce for the clam cakes. i got a salad because it said “crispy ham” and it was obviously really good!  the poached egg was perfect and the fennel wasn’t totally overwhelming.  nice work, crispy ham salad.  meatloaf (haha) is a mainstay for children in the american context.  maybe my grandma was doing it wrong, or making the meatloaf too good, because no meatloaf has ever beaten hers.  hope and anchor tried their best.  gold star, a+ for effort, try again next year.  the sandwich included about four solid pounds of mashed potatoes and gravy, which (although pretty yummy) drowned out any hint of brioche and meatloaf (dry log, i thought it was bread at first).  The carrot puree looked like my favorite salad dressing and tasted like straight carrots. there were also greens, which should be  a misdemeanor since every other sandwich gets those, uh, “famous” fries. all in all, the moral to this aesop fable is never eat at the same place twice because your grandma didn’t make the meatloaf. Yelena Here’s what happened…too long has passed and this meal has been subject to tedious rumination. I wanted to go to Hope & Anchor for so long because I’m a  sucker for glorified diners that are also cute and make me feel like I’m far far away from the tedium of young adult life in a soulless city. Nah mean? Ok. Here’s what went wrong: 1. You see all those beautiful drinks? I had too many of them and now can only vaguely recall what was in them. Some kinda gimlet with ginger? I’m sure. Habanero infused tequila with something pink? Uh, maybe. All pretty innovative and successful in getting me drunk. 2. Nothing was really wrong, this place is actually delicious and homey. However, we went with overzealous boys and I was infected by their love of fried things and instead of getting like…something not unbearably filling we got 3 lump fried appetizers. BAD LOOK. I will say this…those clam cakes were some bullshit. All cake no clam. It was like some batter someone rubbed on tuna with creamy sauce just so they could get away with it. I give the calamari a thumbs up but when don’t I? 3. Jamie and I both got buttermilk fried chicken which came with “cheese” mashed potatoes and sauteed string beans and mushrooms. The fried chicken was prepared really well with all perfectly crisp skin and batter. However, it was really under-season so we had to douse that shit in hot sauce like it was Nostrand Ave all over again. Season ya’ll chicken. The mashed potatoes were #1. Smooth, buttery etc but had what I presume was a melted Kraft single on it. Who are you fooling, take your cheddar back. I ate the rest of this chicken much later at a bar and I’m pretty sure the patrons were simultaneous grossed out and jealous. BUT WAIT HOLD UP. I would definitely come here again and order totally different stuff. Back-handed compliment? I don’t know. You’re free to go now.tamara so, we wrote about hope & anchor once before. this time we brought some gentleman company and succeeded in stuffing ourselves to the sleeping point. we got four appetizers (each, jk not really, but uh yeah really we did) and the sauces stole the show.  there was a lemon aioli for the calamari (which prompted an impassioned debate about the egg content of said sauce), horseradish sauce for the mac & cheese fritters, and malt vinegar sauce for the clam cakes. i got a salad because it said “crispy ham” and it was obviously really good!  the poached egg was perfect and the fennel wasn’t totally overwhelming.  nice work, crispy ham salad.  meatloaf (haha) is a mainstay for children in the american context.  maybe my grandma was doing it wrong, or making the meatloaf too good, because no meatloaf has ever beaten hers.  hope and anchor tried their best.  gold star, a+ for effort, try again next year.  the sandwich included about four solid pounds of mashed potatoes and gravy, which (although pretty yummy) drowned out any hint of brioche and meatloaf (dry log, i thought it was bread at first).  The carrot puree looked like my favorite salad dressing and tasted like straight carrots. there were also greens, which should be  a misdemeanor since every other sandwich gets those, uh, “famous” fries. all in all, the moral to this aesop fable is never eat at the same place twice because your grandma didn’t make the meatloaf. Yelena Here’s what happened…too long has passed and this meal has been subject to tedious rumination. I wanted to go to Hope & Anchor for so long because I’m a  sucker for glorified diners that are also cute and make me feel like I’m far far away from the tedium of young adult life in a soulless city. Nah mean? Ok. Here’s what went wrong: 1. You see all those beautiful drinks? I had too many of them and now can only vaguely recall what was in them. Some kinda gimlet with ginger? I’m sure. Habanero infused tequila with something pink? Uh, maybe. All pretty innovative and successful in getting me drunk. 2. Nothing was really wrong, this place is actually delicious and homey. However, we went with overzealous boys and I was infected by their love of fried things and instead of getting like…something not unbearably filling we got 3 lump fried appetizers. BAD LOOK. I will say this…those clam cakes were some bullshit. All cake no clam. It was like some batter someone rubbed on tuna with creamy sauce just so they could get away with it. I give the calamari a thumbs up but when don’t I? 3. Jamie and I both got buttermilk fried chicken which came with “cheese” mashed potatoes and sauteed string beans and mushrooms. The fried chicken was prepared really well with all perfectly crisp skin and batter. However, it was really under-season so we had to douse that shit in hot sauce like it was Nostrand Ave all over again. Season ya’ll chicken. The mashed potatoes were #1. Smooth, buttery etc but had what I presume was a melted Kraft single on it. Who are you fooling, take your cheddar back. I ate the rest of this chicken much later at a bar and I’m pretty sure the patrons were simultaneous grossed out and jealous. BUT WAIT HOLD UP. I would definitely come here again and order totally different stuff. Back-handed compliment? I don’t know. You’re free to go now.tamara so, we wrote about hope & anchor once before. this time we brought some gentleman company and succeeded in stuffing ourselves to the sleeping point. we got four appetizers (each, jk not really, but uh yeah really we did) and the sauces stole the show.  there was a lemon aioli for the calamari (which prompted an impassioned debate about the egg content of said sauce), horseradish sauce for the mac & cheese fritters, and malt vinegar sauce for the clam cakes. i got a salad because it said “crispy ham” and it was obviously really good!  the poached egg was perfect and the fennel wasn’t totally overwhelming.  nice work, crispy ham salad.  meatloaf (haha) is a mainstay for children in the american context.  maybe my grandma was doing it wrong, or making the meatloaf too good, because no meatloaf has ever beaten hers.  hope and anchor tried their best.  gold star, a+ for effort, try again next year.  the sandwich included about four solid pounds of mashed potatoes and gravy, which (although pretty yummy) drowned out any hint of brioche and meatloaf (dry log, i thought it was bread at first).  The carrot puree looked like my favorite salad dressing and tasted like straight carrots. there were also greens, which should be  a misdemeanor since every other sandwich gets those, uh, “famous” fries. all in all, the moral to this aesop fable is never eat at the same place twice because your grandma didn’t make the meatloaf. Yelena Here’s what happened…too long has passed and this meal has been subject to tedious rumination. I wanted to go to Hope & Anchor for so long because I’m a  sucker for glorified diners that are also cute and make me feel like I’m far far away from the tedium of young adult life in a soulless city. Nah mean? Ok. Here’s what went wrong: 1. You see all those beautiful drinks? I had too many of them and now can only vaguely recall what was in them. Some kinda gimlet with ginger? I’m sure. Habanero infused tequila with something pink? Uh, maybe. All pretty innovative and successful in getting me drunk. 2. Nothing was really wrong, this place is actually delicious and homey. However, we went with overzealous boys and I was infected by their love of fried things and instead of getting like…something not unbearably filling we got 3 lump fried appetizers. BAD LOOK. I will say this…those clam cakes were some bullshit. All cake no clam. It was like some batter someone rubbed on tuna with creamy sauce just so they could get away with it. I give the calamari a thumbs up but when don’t I? 3. Jamie and I both got buttermilk fried chicken which came with “cheese” mashed potatoes and sauteed string beans and mushrooms. The fried chicken was prepared really well with all perfectly crisp skin and batter. However, it was really under-season so we had to douse that shit in hot sauce like it was Nostrand Ave all over again. Season ya’ll chicken. The mashed potatoes were #1. Smooth, buttery etc but had what I presume was a melted Kraft single on it. Who are you fooling, take your cheddar back. I ate the rest of this chicken much later at a bar and I’m pretty sure the patrons were simultaneous grossed out and jealous. BUT WAIT HOLD UP. I would definitely come here again and order totally different stuff. Back-handed compliment? I don’t know. You’re free to go now.tamara so, we wrote about hope & anchor once before. this time we brought some gentleman company and succeeded in stuffing ourselves to the sleeping point. we got four appetizers (each, jk not really, but uh yeah really we did) and the sauces stole the show.  there was a lemon aioli for the calamari (which prompted an impassioned debate about the egg content of said sauce), horseradish sauce for the mac & cheese fritters, and malt vinegar sauce for the clam cakes. i got a salad because it said “crispy ham” and it was obviously really good!  the poached egg was perfect and the fennel wasn’t totally overwhelming.  nice work, crispy ham salad.  meatloaf (haha) is a mainstay for children in the american context.  maybe my grandma was doing it wrong, or making the meatloaf too good, because no meatloaf has ever beaten hers.  hope and anchor tried their best.  gold star, a+ for effort, try again next year.  the sandwich included about four solid pounds of mashed potatoes and gravy, which (although pretty yummy) drowned out any hint of brioche and meatloaf (dry log, i thought it was bread at first).  The carrot puree looked like my favorite salad dressing and tasted like straight carrots. there were also greens, which should be  a misdemeanor since every other sandwich gets those, uh, “famous” fries. all in all, the moral to this aesop fable is never eat at the same place twice because your grandma didn’t make the meatloaf. Yelena Here’s what happened…too long has passed and this meal has been subject to tedious rumination. I wanted to go to Hope & Anchor for so long because I’m a  sucker for glorified diners that are also cute and make me feel like I’m far far away from the tedium of young adult life in a soulless city. Nah mean? Ok. Here’s what went wrong: 1. You see all those beautiful drinks? I had too many of them and now can only vaguely recall what was in them. Some kinda gimlet with ginger? I’m sure. Habanero infused tequila with something pink? Uh, maybe. All pretty innovative and successful in getting me drunk. 2. Nothing was really wrong, this place is actually delicious and homey. However, we went with overzealous boys and I was infected by their love of fried things and instead of getting like…something not unbearably filling we got 3 lump fried appetizers. BAD LOOK. I will say this…those clam cakes were some bullshit. All cake no clam. It was like some batter someone rubbed on tuna with creamy sauce just so they could get away with it. I give the calamari a thumbs up but when don’t I? 3. Jamie and I both got buttermilk fried chicken which came with “cheese” mashed potatoes and sauteed string beans and mushrooms. The fried chicken was prepared really well with all perfectly crisp skin and batter. However, it was really under-season so we had to douse that shit in hot sauce like it was Nostrand Ave all over again. Season ya’ll chicken. The mashed potatoes were #1. Smooth, buttery etc but had what I presume was a melted Kraft single on it. Who are you fooling, take your cheddar back. I ate the rest of this chicken much later at a bar and I’m pretty sure the patrons were simultaneous grossed out and jealous. BUT WAIT HOLD UP. I would definitely come here again and order totally different stuff. Back-handed compliment? I don’t know. You’re free to go now.tamara so, we wrote about hope & anchor once before. this time we brought some gentleman company and succeeded in stuffing ourselves to the sleeping point. we got four appetizers (each, jk not really, but uh yeah really we did) and the sauces stole the show.  there was a lemon aioli for the calamari (which prompted an impassioned debate about the egg content of said sauce), horseradish sauce for the mac & cheese fritters, and malt vinegar sauce for the clam cakes. i got a salad because it said “crispy ham” and it was obviously really good!  the poached egg was perfect and the fennel wasn’t totally overwhelming.  nice work, crispy ham salad.  meatloaf (haha) is a mainstay for children in the american context.  maybe my grandma was doing it wrong, or making the meatloaf too good, because no meatloaf has ever beaten hers.  hope and anchor tried their best.  gold star, a+ for effort, try again next year.  the sandwich included about four solid pounds of mashed potatoes and gravy, which (although pretty yummy) drowned out any hint of brioche and meatloaf (dry log, i thought it was bread at first).  The carrot puree looked like my favorite salad dressing and tasted like straight carrots. there were also greens, which should be  a misdemeanor since every other sandwich gets those, uh, “famous” fries. all in all, the moral to this aesop fable is never eat at the same place twice because your grandma didn’t make the meatloaf. Yelena Here’s what happened…too long has passed and this meal has been subject to tedious rumination. I wanted to go to Hope & Anchor for so long because I’m a  sucker for glorified diners that are also cute and make me feel like I’m far far away from the tedium of young adult life in a soulless city. Nah mean? Ok. Here’s what went wrong: 1. You see all those beautiful drinks? I had too many of them and now can only vaguely recall what was in them. Some kinda gimlet with ginger? I’m sure. Habanero infused tequila with something pink? Uh, maybe. All pretty innovative and successful in getting me drunk. 2. Nothing was really wrong, this place is actually delicious and homey. However, we went with overzealous boys and I was infected by their love of fried things and instead of getting like…something not unbearably filling we got 3 lump fried appetizers. BAD LOOK. I will say this…those clam cakes were some bullshit. All cake no clam. It was like some batter someone rubbed on tuna with creamy sauce just so they could get away with it. I give the calamari a thumbs up but when don’t I? 3. Jamie and I both got buttermilk fried chicken which came with “cheese” mashed potatoes and sauteed string beans and mushrooms. The fried chicken was prepared really well with all perfectly crisp skin and batter. However, it was really under-season so we had to douse that shit in hot sauce like it was Nostrand Ave all over again. Season ya’ll chicken. The mashed potatoes were #1. Smooth, buttery etc but had what I presume was a melted Kraft single on it. Who are you fooling, take your cheddar back. I ate the rest of this chicken much later at a bar and I’m pretty sure the patrons were simultaneous grossed out and jealous. BUT WAIT HOLD UP. I would definitely come here again and order totally different stuff. Back-handed compliment? I don’t know. You’re free to go now.tamara so, we wrote about hope & anchor once before. this time we brought some gentleman company and succeeded in stuffing ourselves to the sleeping point. we got four appetizers (each, jk not really, but uh yeah really we did) and the sauces stole the show.  there was a lemon aioli for the calamari (which prompted an impassioned debate about the egg content of said sauce), horseradish sauce for the mac & cheese fritters, and malt vinegar sauce for the clam cakes. i got a salad because it said “crispy ham” and it was obviously really good!  the poached egg was perfect and the fennel wasn’t totally overwhelming.  nice work, crispy ham salad.  meatloaf (haha) is a mainstay for children in the american context.  maybe my grandma was doing it wrong, or making the meatloaf too good, because no meatloaf has ever beaten hers.  hope and anchor tried their best.  gold star, a+ for effort, try again next year.  the sandwich included about four solid pounds of mashed potatoes and gravy, which (although pretty yummy) drowned out any hint of brioche and meatloaf (dry log, i thought it was bread at first).  The carrot puree looked like my favorite salad dressing and tasted like straight carrots. there were also greens, which should be  a misdemeanor since every other sandwich gets those, uh, “famous” fries. all in all, the moral to this aesop fable is never eat at the same place twice because your grandma didn’t make the meatloaf. Yelena Here’s what happened…too long has passed and this meal has been subject to tedious rumination. I wanted to go to Hope & Anchor for so long because I’m a  sucker for glorified diners that are also cute and make me feel like I’m far far away from the tedium of young adult life in a soulless city. Nah mean? Ok. Here’s what went wrong: 1. You see all those beautiful drinks? I had too many of them and now can only vaguely recall what was in them. Some kinda gimlet with ginger? I’m sure. Habanero infused tequila with something pink? Uh, maybe. All pretty innovative and successful in getting me drunk. 2. Nothing was really wrong, this place is actually delicious and homey. However, we went with overzealous boys and I was infected by their love of fried things and instead of getting like…something not unbearably filling we got 3 lump fried appetizers. BAD LOOK. I will say this…those clam cakes were some bullshit. All cake no clam. It was like some batter someone rubbed on tuna with creamy sauce just so they could get away with it. I give the calamari a thumbs up but when don’t I? 3. Jamie and I both got buttermilk fried chicken which came with “cheese” mashed potatoes and sauteed string beans and mushrooms. The fried chicken was prepared really well with all perfectly crisp skin and batter. However, it was really under-season so we had to douse that shit in hot sauce like it was Nostrand Ave all over again. Season ya’ll chicken. The mashed potatoes were #1. Smooth, buttery etc but had what I presume was a melted Kraft single on it. Who are you fooling, take your cheddar back. I ate the rest of this chicken much later at a bar and I’m pretty sure the patrons were simultaneous grossed out and jealous. BUT WAIT HOLD UP. I would definitely come here again and order totally different stuff. Back-handed compliment? I don’t know. You’re free to go now.tamara so, we wrote about hope & anchor once before. this time we brought some gentleman company and succeeded in stuffing ourselves to the sleeping point. we got four appetizers (each, jk not really, but uh yeah really we did) and the sauces stole the show.  there was a lemon aioli for the calamari (which prompted an impassioned debate about the egg content of said sauce), horseradish sauce for the mac & cheese fritters, and malt vinegar sauce for the clam cakes. i got a salad because it said “crispy ham” and it was obviously really good!  the poached egg was perfect and the fennel wasn’t totally overwhelming.  nice work, crispy ham salad.  meatloaf (haha) is a mainstay for children in the american context.  maybe my grandma was doing it wrong, or making the meatloaf too good, because no meatloaf has ever beaten hers.  hope and anchor tried their best.  gold star, a+ for effort, try again next year.  the sandwich included about four solid pounds of mashed potatoes and gravy, which (although pretty yummy) drowned out any hint of brioche and meatloaf (dry log, i thought it was bread at first).  The carrot puree looked like my favorite salad dressing and tasted like straight carrots. there were also greens, which should be  a misdemeanor since every other sandwich gets those, uh, “famous” fries. all in all, the moral to this aesop fable is never eat at the same place twice because your grandma didn’t make the meatloaf. Yelena Here’s what happened…too long has passed and this meal has been subject to tedious rumination. I wanted to go to Hope & Anchor for so long because I’m a  sucker for glorified diners that are also cute and make me feel like I’m far far away from the tedium of young adult life in a soulless city. Nah mean? Ok. Here’s what went wrong: 1. You see all those beautiful drinks? I had too many of them and now can only vaguely recall what was in them. Some kinda gimlet with ginger? I’m sure. Habanero infused tequila with something pink? Uh, maybe. All pretty innovative and successful in getting me drunk. 2. Nothing was really wrong, this place is actually delicious and homey. However, we went with overzealous boys and I was infected by their love of fried things and instead of getting like…something not unbearably filling we got 3 lump fried appetizers. BAD LOOK. I will say this…those clam cakes were some bullshit. All cake no clam. It was like some batter someone rubbed on tuna with creamy sauce just so they could get away with it. I give the calamari a thumbs up but when don’t I? 3. Jamie and I both got buttermilk fried chicken which came with “cheese” mashed potatoes and sauteed string beans and mushrooms. The fried chicken was prepared really well with all perfectly crisp skin and batter. However, it was really under-season so we had to douse that shit in hot sauce like it was Nostrand Ave all over again. Season ya’ll chicken. The mashed potatoes were #1. Smooth, buttery etc but had what I presume was a melted Kraft single on it. Who are you fooling, take your cheddar back. I ate the rest of this chicken much later at a bar and I’m pretty sure the patrons were simultaneous grossed out and jealous. BUT WAIT HOLD UP. I would definitely come here again and order totally different stuff. Back-handed compliment? I don’t know. You’re free to go now.tamara so, we wrote about hope & anchor once before. this time we brought some gentleman company and succeeded in stuffing ourselves to the sleeping point. we got four appetizers (each, jk not really, but uh yeah really we did) and the sauces stole the show.  there was a lemon aioli for the calamari (which prompted an impassioned debate about the egg content of said sauce), horseradish sauce for the mac & cheese fritters, and malt vinegar sauce for the clam cakes. i got a salad because it said “crispy ham” and it was obviously really good!  the poached egg was perfect and the fennel wasn’t totally overwhelming.  nice work, crispy ham salad.  meatloaf (haha) is a mainstay for children in the american context.  maybe my grandma was doing it wrong, or making the meatloaf too good, because no meatloaf has ever beaten hers.  hope and anchor tried their best.  gold star, a+ for effort, try again next year.  the sandwich included about four solid pounds of mashed potatoes and gravy, which (although pretty yummy) drowned out any hint of brioche and meatloaf (dry log, i thought it was bread at first).  The carrot puree looked like my favorite salad dressing and tasted like straight carrots. there were also greens, which should be  a misdemeanor since every other sandwich gets those, uh, “famous” fries. all in all, the moral to this aesop fable is never eat at the same place twice because your grandma didn’t make the meatloaf. Yelena Here’s what happened…too long has passed and this meal has been subject to tedious rumination. I wanted to go to Hope & Anchor for so long because I’m a  sucker for glorified diners that are also cute and make me feel like I’m far far away from the tedium of young adult life in a soulless city. Nah mean? Ok. Here’s what went wrong: 1. You see all those beautiful drinks? I had too many of them and now can only vaguely recall what was in them. Some kinda gimlet with ginger? I’m sure. Habanero infused tequila with something pink? Uh, maybe. All pretty innovative and successful in getting me drunk. 2. Nothing was really wrong, this place is actually delicious and homey. However, we went with overzealous boys and I was infected by their love of fried things and instead of getting like…something not unbearably filling we got 3 lump fried appetizers. BAD LOOK. I will say this…those clam cakes were some bullshit. All cake no clam. It was like some batter someone rubbed on tuna with creamy sauce just so they could get away with it. I give the calamari a thumbs up but when don’t I? 3. Jamie and I both got buttermilk fried chicken which came with “cheese” mashed potatoes and sauteed string beans and mushrooms. The fried chicken was prepared really well with all perfectly crisp skin and batter. However, it was really under-season so we had to douse that shit in hot sauce like it was Nostrand Ave all over again. Season ya’ll chicken. The mashed potatoes were #1. Smooth, buttery etc but had what I presume was a melted Kraft single on it. Who are you fooling, take your cheddar back. I ate the rest of this chicken much later at a bar and I’m pretty sure the patrons were simultaneous grossed out and jealous. BUT WAIT HOLD UP. I would definitely come here again and order totally different stuff. Back-handed compliment? I don’t know. You’re free to go now.tamara so, we wrote about hope & anchor once before. this time we brought some gentleman company and succeeded in stuffing ourselves to the sleeping point. we got four appetizers (each, jk not really, but uh yeah really we did) and the sauces stole the show.  there was a lemon aioli for the calamari (which prompted an impassioned debate about the egg content of said sauce), horseradish sauce for the mac & cheese fritters, and malt vinegar sauce for the clam cakes. i got a salad because it said “crispy ham” and it was obviously really good!  the poached egg was perfect and the fennel wasn’t totally overwhelming.  nice work, crispy ham salad.  meatloaf (haha) is a mainstay for children in the american context.  maybe my grandma was doing it wrong, or making the meatloaf too good, because no meatloaf has ever beaten hers.  hope and anchor tried their best.  gold star, a+ for effort, try again next year.  the sandwich included about four solid pounds of mashed potatoes and gravy, which (although pretty yummy) drowned out any hint of brioche and meatloaf (dry log, i thought it was bread at first).  The carrot puree looked like my favorite salad dressing and tasted like straight carrots. there were also greens, which should be  a misdemeanor since every other sandwich gets those, uh, “famous” fries. all in all, the moral to this aesop fable is never eat at the same place twice because your grandma didn’t make the meatloaf. Yelena Here’s what happened…too long has passed and this meal has been subject to tedious rumination. I wanted to go to Hope & Anchor for so long because I’m a  sucker for glorified diners that are also cute and make me feel like I’m far far away from the tedium of young adult life in a soulless city. Nah mean? Ok. Here’s what went wrong: 1. You see all those beautiful drinks? I had too many of them and now can only vaguely recall what was in them. Some kinda gimlet with ginger? I’m sure. Habanero infused tequila with something pink? Uh, maybe. All pretty innovative and successful in getting me drunk. 2. Nothing was really wrong, this place is actually delicious and homey. However, we went with overzealous boys and I was infected by their love of fried things and instead of getting like…something not unbearably filling we got 3 lump fried appetizers. BAD LOOK. I will say this…those clam cakes were some bullshit. All cake no clam. It was like some batter someone rubbed on tuna with creamy sauce just so they could get away with it. I give the calamari a thumbs up but when don’t I? 3. Jamie and I both got buttermilk fried chicken which came with “cheese” mashed potatoes and sauteed string beans and mushrooms. The fried chicken was prepared really well with all perfectly crisp skin and batter. However, it was really under-season so we had to douse that shit in hot sauce like it was Nostrand Ave all over again. Season ya’ll chicken. The mashed potatoes were #1. Smooth, buttery etc but had what I presume was a melted Kraft single on it. Who are you fooling, take your cheddar back. I ate the rest of this chicken much later at a bar and I’m pretty sure the patrons were simultaneous grossed out and jealous. BUT WAIT HOLD UP. I would definitely come here again and order totally different stuff. Back-handed compliment? I don’t know. You’re free to go now.tamara so, we wrote about hope & anchor once before. this time we brought some gentleman company and succeeded in stuffing ourselves to the sleeping point. we got four appetizers (each, jk not really, but uh yeah really we did) and the sauces stole the show.  there was a lemon aioli for the calamari (which prompted an impassioned debate about the egg content of said sauce), horseradish sauce for the mac & cheese fritters, and malt vinegar sauce for the clam cakes. i got a salad because it said “crispy ham” and it was obviously really good!  the poached egg was perfect and the fennel wasn’t totally overwhelming.  nice work, crispy ham salad.  meatloaf (haha) is a mainstay for children in the american context.  maybe my grandma was doing it wrong, or making the meatloaf too good, because no meatloaf has ever beaten hers.  hope and anchor tried their best.  gold star, a+ for effort, try again next year.  the sandwich included about four solid pounds of mashed potatoes and gravy, which (although pretty yummy) drowned out any hint of brioche and meatloaf (dry log, i thought it was bread at first).  The carrot puree looked like my favorite salad dressing and tasted like straight carrots. there were also greens, which should be  a misdemeanor since every other sandwich gets those, uh, “famous” fries. all in all, the moral to this aesop fable is never eat at the same place twice because your grandma didn’t make the meatloaf. Yelena Here’s what happened…too long has passed and this meal has been subject to tedious rumination. I wanted to go to Hope & Anchor for so long because I’m a  sucker for glorified diners that are also cute and make me feel like I’m far far away from the tedium of young adult life in a soulless city. Nah mean? Ok. Here’s what went wrong: 1. You see all those beautiful drinks? I had too many of them and now can only vaguely recall what was in them. Some kinda gimlet with ginger? I’m sure. Habanero infused tequila with something pink? Uh, maybe. All pretty innovative and successful in getting me drunk. 2. Nothing was really wrong, this place is actually delicious and homey. However, we went with overzealous boys and I was infected by their love of fried things and instead of getting like…something not unbearably filling we got 3 lump fried appetizers. BAD LOOK. I will say this…those clam cakes were some bullshit. All cake no clam. It was like some batter someone rubbed on tuna with creamy sauce just so they could get away with it. I give the calamari a thumbs up but when don’t I? 3. Jamie and I both got buttermilk fried chicken which came with “cheese” mashed potatoes and sauteed string beans and mushrooms. The fried chicken was prepared really well with all perfectly crisp skin and batter. However, it was really under-season so we had to douse that shit in hot sauce like it was Nostrand Ave all over again. Season ya’ll chicken. The mashed potatoes were #1. Smooth, buttery etc but had what I presume was a melted Kraft single on it. Who are you fooling, take your cheddar back. I ate the rest of this chicken much later at a bar and I’m pretty sure the patrons were simultaneous grossed out and jealous. BUT WAIT HOLD UP. I would definitely come here again and order totally different stuff. Back-handed compliment? I don’t know. You’re free to go now.

tamara

so, we wrote about hope & anchor once before. this time we brought some gentleman company and succeeded in stuffing ourselves to the sleeping point.

we got four appetizers (each, jk not really, but uh yeah really we did) and the sauces stole the show.  there was a lemon aioli for the calamari (which prompted an impassioned debate about the egg content of said sauce), horseradish sauce for the mac & cheese fritters, and malt vinegar sauce for the clam cakes. i got a salad because it said “crispy ham” and it was obviously really good!  the poached egg was perfect and the fennel wasn’t totally overwhelming.  nice work, crispy ham salad. 

meatloaf (haha) is a mainstay for children in the american context.  maybe my grandma was doing it wrong, or making the meatloaf too good, because no meatloaf has ever beaten hers.  hope and anchor tried their best.  gold star, a+ for effort, try again next year.  the sandwich included about four solid pounds of mashed potatoes and gravy, which (although pretty yummy) drowned out any hint of brioche and meatloaf (dry log, i thought it was bread at first).  The carrot puree looked like my favorite salad dressing and tasted like straight carrots. there were also greens, which should be  a misdemeanor since every other sandwich gets those, uh, “famous” fries.

all in all, the moral to this aesop fable is never eat at the same place twice because your grandma didn’t make the meatloaf.

Yelena

Here’s what happened…too long has passed and this meal has been subject to tedious rumination. I wanted to go to Hope & Anchor for so long because I’m a  sucker for glorified diners that are also cute and make me feel like I’m far far away from the tedium of young adult life in a soulless city. Nah mean? Ok. Here’s what went wrong:

1. You see all those beautiful drinks? I had too many of them and now can only vaguely recall what was in them. Some kinda gimlet with ginger? I’m sure. Habanero infused tequila with something pink? Uh, maybe. All pretty innovative and successful in getting me drunk.

2. Nothing was really wrong, this place is actually delicious and homey. However, we went with overzealous boys and I was infected by their love of fried things and instead of getting like…something not unbearably filling we got 3 lump fried appetizers. BAD LOOK. I will say this…those clam cakes were some bullshit. All cake no clam. It was like some batter someone rubbed on tuna with creamy sauce just so they could get away with it. I give the calamari a thumbs up but when don’t I?

3. Jamie and I both got buttermilk fried chicken which came with “cheese” mashed potatoes and sauteed string beans and mushrooms. The fried chicken was prepared really well with all perfectly crisp skin and batter. However, it was really under-season so we had to douse that shit in hot sauce like it was Nostrand Ave all over again. Season ya’ll chicken. The mashed potatoes were #1. Smooth, buttery etc but had what I presume was a melted Kraft single on it. Who are you fooling, take your cheddar back. I ate the rest of this chicken much later at a bar and I’m pretty sure the patrons were simultaneous grossed out and jealous.

BUT WAIT HOLD UP. I would definitely come here again and order totally different stuff. Back-handed compliment? I don’t know. You’re free to go now.

# yelena tamara hope and anchor red hook brooklyn clam cakes buttermilk chicken fennel salad crispy ham poached egg calamari aoili mashed potatos habanero infused tequila meatloaf diners

Posted 10 months ago 10 notes View comments

Daydreams from an involuntary hiatus

I’m sure you’ve noticed that we have not really been updating because you are a weirdly devoted reader. Thanks, we appreciate it. I’ve been too broke and busy to eat anything delicious. I think Tamara might be off eating ostrich meat somewhere but not this guy.

This is not to say that I haven’t been thinking about eating lobster every single day of my fucking life.  To say that I am in a perpetual gulag of hunger and yearning would not be a gross and insensitive overstatement in the least. Sometimes I read over the things I write and I just hate white people so much more. But let’s get back to business, this is not Critical Race Theory (it is).

So, here is a list. Mostly wishful thinking and partially a to-do list. If you have suggestions/are compelled to come eat this when we do (never)…we patiently await your telegram. Without further ado (every single photo is stolen):

1.

 

First and foremost: The lobster roll from The Red Hook Lobster Pound. Made with fresh catch lobster. This chunky asshole is taunting me. Sometimes I consider getting married to anyone for the sake of RHLP catering. Also available, lobster grits.

2.

 

This committment is no joke. The Breslin’s chef’s table suckling pig dinner is $65 a person and encourages a party of 8-12 people to eat an entire pig. I mean, yeah, chump change. The pig comes with salsa rosa and salsa verde. Side include duck fat roasted potatos (!!), fennel and broccoli rabe. Everyone wants to go right right? Let’s eat a whole pig.

3.

 

Ok. I am getting upset. Hot chilli oil is a serious weakness. It makes you sweat and snot everywhere while you eat, which is simulatenously gross and endearing. There’s something extremely fulfilling about food that makes you feel feverish. A few weeks ago John, Tamara and I were going to eat at Grand Sichuan House with Briana and then everything went terribly wrong and we were left pig trotter and duckless. Since then I’ve been daydreaming about smoked tea duck and various fish braised in chili oil. The menu also has spicy aromatic pig blood which is the first thing I’m ordering.

4. This place is incredible:

And smells good, so.

Last time I was at The Lobster Place I walked around sniffling and whimpering because I can’t hug every fish fillet in the world.

5. Spiked popsicles from Counter.

This is way way WAY too long and could be longer. If you’re down here you should probably go do something productive with your day. Don’t be like me! But before you go, tell me that my imagination is spoiled or tell me what I missed.

# yelena daydreams lobster red hook lobster pound lobster roll suckling pig breslin new york brooklyn grand sichuan house smoked tea duck chengdu dumplings braised fish counter lower east side popsicles the lobster place seafood

Posted 11 months ago 3 notes View comments
i know red hook is famous for, like, ikea, lobster rolls, key lime pie, and failed attempts at gentrification but did you know about this place hope & anchor??  i didn’t, until i googled something like “red hook burger” yesterday.   for a second, it’s got an old-timey diner vibe but is actually filled with the kind of people who truly believe red hook is part of “south brooklyn” and the radio was set to the pandora station for “feist - mushaboom.”  so you’re, like, uh i didn’t come here to see the high-waisted jeans and asymmetrical haircut parade.  but then you get your food and it’s like the finn & rachel kiss from glee last week.  i didn’t say that. we initially ordered the pork burger, which allegedly came with cheddar and apple relish (!!!).  JUST KIDDING THEY DON’T MAKE IT ANYMORE.  the (totally cute) server gave us some shoddy excuse about how their supplier doesn’t have pork anymore and he only works breakfast but no one seems to order it and uhhhh yeah no pork ever again.  whatever, don’t care, take your cute-glasses-haircut excuses elsewhere.  we definitely heard like 9 other people try to order the pork burger and get totally disappointed. what we did get was totally insane and amazing though.  first, mac and cheese fitters.  DEEP-FRIED MACARONI AND CHEESE.  dipped in horseradish foam sauce (marcel from top chef).  eat six of these alone and you may die.  the lamb burger came next, which killed any lingering resentment about the lack of pork.  holy shit, like…lamb and red peppers and feta and curry mayo and black olive bread and a single piece of mushroom (?).  amazing, perfectly cooked, i wanted ten more.  it’s initially a little bland but adding the curry mayo made everything perfect.  food science or something?  we also got a regular burger, but that’s being saved for a different entry (edge of your seats, i know!).  the burgers come with fries which were described as “famous” but were definitely some from some freezer package origins.  i thought they were good because they were salty but i know when i’m eating mcdonald’s fries.  don’t lie. dessert was a rice krispy treat with a white chocolate base.  weird and stale, sorry!  i also got something called an ice box cake, which one guy simply called “chocolate pudding” but it’s something else entirely.  remember that entry from moto where i screamed about chocolate pudding for a while?  i’m about to do that again.  WHAT IS THIS?!  chocolate pudding is some misleading nonsense and is maybe meant to keep desserts like this a secret.  this thing came in a metal bowl, was covered in homemade whipped cream, and had flaky-delicious-graham-cracker dough at the bottom.  in the middle was the pudding, which was a lot like that moto version.  i think i called that one “cold-chocolate-mousse-brownie-fudge-bowl.”  pretty accurate! by the way, this place is real cheap so stop being lazy and shlep over from the smith-9th st or carroll st stops.  i’ll come with you and you can pay.i know red hook is famous for, like, ikea, lobster rolls, key lime pie, and failed attempts at gentrification but did you know about this place hope & anchor??  i didn’t, until i googled something like “red hook burger” yesterday.   for a second, it’s got an old-timey diner vibe but is actually filled with the kind of people who truly believe red hook is part of “south brooklyn” and the radio was set to the pandora station for “feist - mushaboom.”  so you’re, like, uh i didn’t come here to see the high-waisted jeans and asymmetrical haircut parade.  but then you get your food and it’s like the finn & rachel kiss from glee last week.  i didn’t say that. we initially ordered the pork burger, which allegedly came with cheddar and apple relish (!!!).  JUST KIDDING THEY DON’T MAKE IT ANYMORE.  the (totally cute) server gave us some shoddy excuse about how their supplier doesn’t have pork anymore and he only works breakfast but no one seems to order it and uhhhh yeah no pork ever again.  whatever, don’t care, take your cute-glasses-haircut excuses elsewhere.  we definitely heard like 9 other people try to order the pork burger and get totally disappointed. what we did get was totally insane and amazing though.  first, mac and cheese fitters.  DEEP-FRIED MACARONI AND CHEESE.  dipped in horseradish foam sauce (marcel from top chef).  eat six of these alone and you may die.  the lamb burger came next, which killed any lingering resentment about the lack of pork.  holy shit, like…lamb and red peppers and feta and curry mayo and black olive bread and a single piece of mushroom (?).  amazing, perfectly cooked, i wanted ten more.  it’s initially a little bland but adding the curry mayo made everything perfect.  food science or something?  we also got a regular burger, but that’s being saved for a different entry (edge of your seats, i know!).  the burgers come with fries which were described as “famous” but were definitely some from some freezer package origins.  i thought they were good because they were salty but i know when i’m eating mcdonald’s fries.  don’t lie. dessert was a rice krispy treat with a white chocolate base.  weird and stale, sorry!  i also got something called an ice box cake, which one guy simply called “chocolate pudding” but it’s something else entirely.  remember that entry from moto where i screamed about chocolate pudding for a while?  i’m about to do that again.  WHAT IS THIS?!  chocolate pudding is some misleading nonsense and is maybe meant to keep desserts like this a secret.  this thing came in a metal bowl, was covered in homemade whipped cream, and had flaky-delicious-graham-cracker dough at the bottom.  in the middle was the pudding, which was a lot like that moto version.  i think i called that one “cold-chocolate-mousse-brownie-fudge-bowl.”  pretty accurate! by the way, this place is real cheap so stop being lazy and shlep over from the smith-9th st or carroll st stops.  i’ll come with you and you can pay.i know red hook is famous for, like, ikea, lobster rolls, key lime pie, and failed attempts at gentrification but did you know about this place hope & anchor??  i didn’t, until i googled something like “red hook burger” yesterday.   for a second, it’s got an old-timey diner vibe but is actually filled with the kind of people who truly believe red hook is part of “south brooklyn” and the radio was set to the pandora station for “feist - mushaboom.”  so you’re, like, uh i didn’t come here to see the high-waisted jeans and asymmetrical haircut parade.  but then you get your food and it’s like the finn & rachel kiss from glee last week.  i didn’t say that. we initially ordered the pork burger, which allegedly came with cheddar and apple relish (!!!).  JUST KIDDING THEY DON’T MAKE IT ANYMORE.  the (totally cute) server gave us some shoddy excuse about how their supplier doesn’t have pork anymore and he only works breakfast but no one seems to order it and uhhhh yeah no pork ever again.  whatever, don’t care, take your cute-glasses-haircut excuses elsewhere.  we definitely heard like 9 other people try to order the pork burger and get totally disappointed. what we did get was totally insane and amazing though.  first, mac and cheese fitters.  DEEP-FRIED MACARONI AND CHEESE.  dipped in horseradish foam sauce (marcel from top chef).  eat six of these alone and you may die.  the lamb burger came next, which killed any lingering resentment about the lack of pork.  holy shit, like…lamb and red peppers and feta and curry mayo and black olive bread and a single piece of mushroom (?).  amazing, perfectly cooked, i wanted ten more.  it’s initially a little bland but adding the curry mayo made everything perfect.  food science or something?  we also got a regular burger, but that’s being saved for a different entry (edge of your seats, i know!).  the burgers come with fries which were described as “famous” but were definitely some from some freezer package origins.  i thought they were good because they were salty but i know when i’m eating mcdonald’s fries.  don’t lie. dessert was a rice krispy treat with a white chocolate base.  weird and stale, sorry!  i also got something called an ice box cake, which one guy simply called “chocolate pudding” but it’s something else entirely.  remember that entry from moto where i screamed about chocolate pudding for a while?  i’m about to do that again.  WHAT IS THIS?!  chocolate pudding is some misleading nonsense and is maybe meant to keep desserts like this a secret.  this thing came in a metal bowl, was covered in homemade whipped cream, and had flaky-delicious-graham-cracker dough at the bottom.  in the middle was the pudding, which was a lot like that moto version.  i think i called that one “cold-chocolate-mousse-brownie-fudge-bowl.”  pretty accurate! by the way, this place is real cheap so stop being lazy and shlep over from the smith-9th st or carroll st stops.  i’ll come with you and you can pay.i know red hook is famous for, like, ikea, lobster rolls, key lime pie, and failed attempts at gentrification but did you know about this place hope & anchor??  i didn’t, until i googled something like “red hook burger” yesterday.   for a second, it’s got an old-timey diner vibe but is actually filled with the kind of people who truly believe red hook is part of “south brooklyn” and the radio was set to the pandora station for “feist - mushaboom.”  so you’re, like, uh i didn’t come here to see the high-waisted jeans and asymmetrical haircut parade.  but then you get your food and it’s like the finn & rachel kiss from glee last week.  i didn’t say that. we initially ordered the pork burger, which allegedly came with cheddar and apple relish (!!!).  JUST KIDDING THEY DON’T MAKE IT ANYMORE.  the (totally cute) server gave us some shoddy excuse about how their supplier doesn’t have pork anymore and he only works breakfast but no one seems to order it and uhhhh yeah no pork ever again.  whatever, don’t care, take your cute-glasses-haircut excuses elsewhere.  we definitely heard like 9 other people try to order the pork burger and get totally disappointed. what we did get was totally insane and amazing though.  first, mac and cheese fitters.  DEEP-FRIED MACARONI AND CHEESE.  dipped in horseradish foam sauce (marcel from top chef).  eat six of these alone and you may die.  the lamb burger came next, which killed any lingering resentment about the lack of pork.  holy shit, like…lamb and red peppers and feta and curry mayo and black olive bread and a single piece of mushroom (?).  amazing, perfectly cooked, i wanted ten more.  it’s initially a little bland but adding the curry mayo made everything perfect.  food science or something?  we also got a regular burger, but that’s being saved for a different entry (edge of your seats, i know!).  the burgers come with fries which were described as “famous” but were definitely some from some freezer package origins.  i thought they were good because they were salty but i know when i’m eating mcdonald’s fries.  don’t lie. dessert was a rice krispy treat with a white chocolate base.  weird and stale, sorry!  i also got something called an ice box cake, which one guy simply called “chocolate pudding” but it’s something else entirely.  remember that entry from moto where i screamed about chocolate pudding for a while?  i’m about to do that again.  WHAT IS THIS?!  chocolate pudding is some misleading nonsense and is maybe meant to keep desserts like this a secret.  this thing came in a metal bowl, was covered in homemade whipped cream, and had flaky-delicious-graham-cracker dough at the bottom.  in the middle was the pudding, which was a lot like that moto version.  i think i called that one “cold-chocolate-mousse-brownie-fudge-bowl.”  pretty accurate! by the way, this place is real cheap so stop being lazy and shlep over from the smith-9th st or carroll st stops.  i’ll come with you and you can pay.i know red hook is famous for, like, ikea, lobster rolls, key lime pie, and failed attempts at gentrification but did you know about this place hope & anchor??  i didn’t, until i googled something like “red hook burger” yesterday.   for a second, it’s got an old-timey diner vibe but is actually filled with the kind of people who truly believe red hook is part of “south brooklyn” and the radio was set to the pandora station for “feist - mushaboom.”  so you’re, like, uh i didn’t come here to see the high-waisted jeans and asymmetrical haircut parade.  but then you get your food and it’s like the finn & rachel kiss from glee last week.  i didn’t say that. we initially ordered the pork burger, which allegedly came with cheddar and apple relish (!!!).  JUST KIDDING THEY DON’T MAKE IT ANYMORE.  the (totally cute) server gave us some shoddy excuse about how their supplier doesn’t have pork anymore and he only works breakfast but no one seems to order it and uhhhh yeah no pork ever again.  whatever, don’t care, take your cute-glasses-haircut excuses elsewhere.  we definitely heard like 9 other people try to order the pork burger and get totally disappointed. what we did get was totally insane and amazing though.  first, mac and cheese fitters.  DEEP-FRIED MACARONI AND CHEESE.  dipped in horseradish foam sauce (marcel from top chef).  eat six of these alone and you may die.  the lamb burger came next, which killed any lingering resentment about the lack of pork.  holy shit, like…lamb and red peppers and feta and curry mayo and black olive bread and a single piece of mushroom (?).  amazing, perfectly cooked, i wanted ten more.  it’s initially a little bland but adding the curry mayo made everything perfect.  food science or something?  we also got a regular burger, but that’s being saved for a different entry (edge of your seats, i know!).  the burgers come with fries which were described as “famous” but were definitely some from some freezer package origins.  i thought they were good because they were salty but i know when i’m eating mcdonald’s fries.  don’t lie. dessert was a rice krispy treat with a white chocolate base.  weird and stale, sorry!  i also got something called an ice box cake, which one guy simply called “chocolate pudding” but it’s something else entirely.  remember that entry from moto where i screamed about chocolate pudding for a while?  i’m about to do that again.  WHAT IS THIS?!  chocolate pudding is some misleading nonsense and is maybe meant to keep desserts like this a secret.  this thing came in a metal bowl, was covered in homemade whipped cream, and had flaky-delicious-graham-cracker dough at the bottom.  in the middle was the pudding, which was a lot like that moto version.  i think i called that one “cold-chocolate-mousse-brownie-fudge-bowl.”  pretty accurate! by the way, this place is real cheap so stop being lazy and shlep over from the smith-9th st or carroll st stops.  i’ll come with you and you can pay.

i know red hook is famous for, like, ikea, lobster rolls, key lime pie, and failed attempts at gentrification but did you know about this place hope & anchor??  i didn’t, until i googled something like “red hook burger” yesterday.  

for a second, it’s got an old-timey diner vibe but is actually filled with the kind of people who truly believe red hook is part of “south brooklyn” and the radio was set to the pandora station for “feist - mushaboom.”  so you’re, like, uh i didn’t come here to see the high-waisted jeans and asymmetrical haircut parade.  but then you get your food and it’s like the finn & rachel kiss from glee last week.  i didn’t say that.

we initially ordered the pork burger, which allegedly came with cheddar and apple relish (!!!).  JUST KIDDING THEY DON’T MAKE IT ANYMORE.  the (totally cute) server gave us some shoddy excuse about how their supplier doesn’t have pork anymore and he only works breakfast but no one seems to order it and uhhhh yeah no pork ever again.  whatever, don’t care, take your cute-glasses-haircut excuses elsewhere.  we definitely heard like 9 other people try to order the pork burger and get totally disappointed.

what we did get was totally insane and amazing though.  first, mac and cheese fitters.  DEEP-FRIED MACARONI AND CHEESE.  dipped in horseradish foam sauce (marcel from top chef).  eat six of these alone and you may die.  the lamb burger came next, which killed any lingering resentment about the lack of pork.  holy shit, like…lamb and red peppers and feta and curry mayo and black olive bread and a single piece of mushroom (?).  amazing, perfectly cooked, i wanted ten more.  it’s initially a little bland but adding the curry mayo made everything perfect.  food science or something?  we also got a regular burger, but that’s being saved for a different entry (edge of your seats, i know!).  the burgers come with fries which were described as “famous” but were definitely some from some freezer package origins.  i thought they were good because they were salty but i know when i’m eating mcdonald’s fries.  don’t lie.

dessert was a rice krispy treat with a white chocolate base.  weird and stale, sorry!  i also got something called an ice box cake, which one guy simply called “chocolate pudding” but it’s something else entirely.  remember that entry from moto where i screamed about chocolate pudding for a while?  i’m about to do that again.  WHAT IS THIS?!  chocolate pudding is some misleading nonsense and is maybe meant to keep desserts like this a secret.  this thing came in a metal bowl, was covered in homemade whipped cream, and had flaky-delicious-graham-cracker dough at the bottom.  in the middle was the pudding, which was a lot like that moto version.  i think i called that one “cold-chocolate-mousse-brownie-fudge-bowl.”  pretty accurate!

by the way, this place is real cheap so stop being lazy and shlep over from the smith-9th st or carroll st stops.  i’ll come with you and you can pay.

# tma brooklyn bklyn red hook hope & anchor burger lamb burger mac and cheese mac and cheese fritters french fries pudding chocolate pudding rice krispy treat rice krispies treat

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